how to wake up? triggering may be

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by jane doe, Mar 31, 2008.

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  1. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    i`m lying on my bed now, and i should be going to my first day in college.i don`t want to move.I`ve hurted myself last night more than the last whole month. i feel empty and my own coping technics aren`t working anymoree.i`m quiet but at the same time i feel i could explote. I haven`t cryied a single tear for myself in the last year, and ohh how i need it, i can`t find any motivation to move from my bed. I know i`ll wake up to go to work later because i have lots of stuff to pay, but i doubt i can still going there too.

    Friends? i have one who`s traveling around the country, so i can`t talk to her, and the oherone doesn`t know about SI, or my depresssion,and she`s at college at this very same moment.I`ve lost weight while i was traing to gain some(because i`m about 10 kg under the ideal weight)and that`s another of my failures.I`m confused about everything around me, i don`t know if i still love my bouyfriend, but at the same time i don`t know if i still care for the people i used to; so i guess that`s because i`m sad. i want to hurt myself in ways i never did before, to see the blod coming out for long long time, to see my arm(s) glowing in red once again, but i feel i can`t even move for that`. I`m exausted but i can`t sleep well, nightmares again.
    i`msprry for this post, but i don`t know what else i can do
     
  2. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

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  3. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    I understand how that feels, not wanting to move, almost like you aren't able to move..Feeling empty is an awful feeling, and I can see how it would make you want to hurt yourself..I also know how the crying thing is..It'll come eventually.

    Can you call her, maybe? Do you think you could open up some to your other friend? She might be able to help somewhat..You aren't a failure, no matter what, just remember that. Confusion isn't fun either. Especially confusion about feelings and all of that. Please don't hurt yourself, you know it won't make it better in the long run, and I'm sorry that you're having nightmares too. Don't apologize for letting things out. I'm sorry that no one replied to you earlier..My PM box is open if you need to talk. xx
     
  4. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    Thank you for reply on my thread, i really needed those sweet words. I donĀ“t know how am i going to do tomorrow to deal with this and go to classes. i hurted myself again just because it helps me to keep with my routins=/
     
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