• Please read the thread in Forum News and Announcements pertaining to race related discussion on SF - thank you :)

How Vain Can We Get?

Status
Not open for further replies.

Sane Man

Sane Possum
#1
It's me again SF. Why? Oh, I guess my long term goal is to have on my resume when I get to the end is being kicked off a suicide website for speaking the truth. That would be great, wouldn't it? Some of you don't like me, and I'm about to add to that. That's ok, the feeling is mutual just so you know. Anyway, I just wanted to make it known how much vanity makes me extremely disappointed to the point of ending my life. I am struggling with appearance/body image, but the thing I'm struggling with is why does it matter so much to you? That isolates me, because I'm not like that. I don't want that.

We live in an extremely vain and shallow society, that's getting worse everyday. That's fact. An why is it, why is that the major concern on people's minds when there is so many important other issues going on is their appearance? They didn't do this 100 years ago, not to this level. Back then, if the choice was to spend your money on getting your hair dyed or buying a loaf of bread to feed your family, you'd be a fool not to spend it on the food. But now with the same choice, people make the bad spending decision and now expect a handout for their foolishness. And to make it worse, than people with no backbone give it to them.

This 'look at me' society today makes me sick. Tattoos, hair dye, clothing, accessories, expensive and unnecessary phone, why? It's a major turn off to me to see a girl with a bunch of tattoos, piercings, or weird hair styles or colors. The first thing that says to me is you don't mind being fake. The second thing it tells me is you're probably not very good with your spending. And third and worst thing that it tells me is you probably don't have very much self esteem. Hundreds, thousands of dollars spent in the name of vanity and much of the time by people who don't even have the money to spend. Then they complain about being 'broke'. And I know, many of you ladies say, 'Well, the men expect you to look good so that's why we do it. It's their fault.' What a bunch of baloney. No, the truth is 'certain men' want that and you give in. I don't 'expect' anyone to dress or look anyway, nor do I want it. So don't give me that; YOU put it on yourself. You do not 'have to' be vain, no one's 'making' you, ok?

Have I ever done foolish things appearance wise to get something I wanted? Sure, I've made lot's of mistakes. Lot's of bad ideas and money wasted trying to be someone I wasn't. But usually after a time of living that way, I come to my senses and say 'This is dumb. Why am I doing this? For whom am I doing this? Awhile ago someone posted on this site about having a sperm donor, children naturally, or adoption. Now, I get this as it sucks, but at the same time isn't this a little shallow for a suicide website? I mean, we got people going through all sorts of hell, attempts, horrible circumstances and now we get, "Wah, I can't have a baby." Grow up a little, believe me there are much worse things to deal with in the world. Why are you even on this website? That bothers me, and no, I don't apologize because you're taking up resources from someone else more in need. And you don't care.

I really feel like I'm living in some kind of nightmarish cartoon with how people act(and hide). Now, before you rip your claws into me I want to point out that there is nothing wrong with looking a certain way if you enjoy it, or are doing it for good reasons. I just question why are you doing them. You can usually tell the people who do it just because it's who they are, and those who are just pretending. For example, if you get a tat because something has high meaning and value to you, great. But if you get a tat just because everyone else got one, that's what I mean. And why are people so concerned about showing the world who they are anyway? Me, I'm the opposite. I fly under the radar. I like living frugal with Goodwill clothing, cheap $10 Walmart shoes because they're practical and nothing wrong with them. Humility, did we forget this at some point hmm?

So fine, hate me, kill me, call me whatever I'll take it all as I normally do. Just remember, one day we are all going to be bones and I don't think the living are really going to care what color your hair was when you died. If someone has to act a certain way, dress a certain way just to attract that thing in your life, is that really worth it? Is that really a good thing that you compromised? Are you proud of that? I don't run my life anymore by those bogus rules, and I'm so glad for that. Just remember next time you do whatever shallow thing you're going to do, you're putting another dagger in my heart. Peace
 

Sunspots

★☆ Comfortably Sunny☆★
Staff member
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#2
That is some insanely judgemental shit there. It's not anyone's right to say what is shallow or not. It's very subjective, what may appear shallow and unimportant to you may be important to someone else and vice versa. And to tell someone to grow up and stop moaning if they can't have a baby is just absolutely unacceptable. Why are you here? What gives you the right to decide what's worthy of being depressed over? This is a support site. If you genuinely want support, you've come to the right place but if you just want to criticize others and call them shallow for being distressed about things that you consider shallow, maybe you need to think about whether this is the right place for you.
 

Witty⭐️Sarcasm ⭐️

✯☆ All round wonderful person ☆✯
SF Supporter
#3
Oh, I guess my long term goal is to have on my resume when I get to the end is being kicked off a suicide website for speaking the truth. That would be great, wouldn't it? Some of you don't like me, and I'm about to add to that. That's ok, the feeling is mutual just so you know.
I'm trying to understand, is there a reason why you want people to dislike you? or why your goal is to get kicked off the site?

The first thing that says to me is you don't mind being fake. The second thing it tells me is you're probably not very good with your spending. And third and worst thing that it tells me is you probably don't have very much self esteem. H
I never spent that much money on such things. And I don't think it's an indicator of low self-esteem. It just means that people are wanting to experiment with different styles, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

Awhile ago someone posted on this site about having a sperm donor, children naturally, or adoption. Now, I get this as it sucks, but at the same time isn't this a little shallow for a suicide website? I mean, we got people going through all sorts of hell, attempts, horrible circumstances and now we get, "Wah, I can't have a baby." Grow up a little, believe me there are much worse things to deal with in the world. Why are you even on this website? That bothers me, and no, I don't apologize because you're taking up resources from someone else more in need. And you don't care.
This might be a reason why some people are depressed. I know it affects me because the older I get, the more I worry about not being able to have children, and consider looking into other alternatives. Everyone has different things they struggle with, that doesn't mean that anyone's struggles are less than others. No one is taking anything away from anyone. The site is here for whoever needs it.

So fine, hate me, kill me, call me whatever I'll take it all as I normally do. Just remember, one day we are all going to be bones and I don't think the living are really going to care what color your hair was when you died. If someone has to act a certain way, dress a certain way just to attract that thing in your life, is that really worth it? Is that really a good thing that you compromised? Are you proud of that? I don't run my life anymore by those bogus rules, and I'm so glad for that. Just remember next time you do whatever shallow thing you're going to do, you're putting another dagger in my heart. Peace
Again, why do you want people to hate you? Why does it matter so much what others do? Why does it bother you to the point where you want to die? Just genuinely trying to understand your point of view here.
 

the.end.ish

Misknown Member
#4
I am struggling with appearance/body image, but the thing I'm struggling with is why does it matter so much to you? That isolates me, because I'm not like that. I don't want that.
We live in an extremely vain and shallow society, that's getting worse everyday.
First off, I agree that the vanity pushed on society is bad. I do not agree that it is okay to belittle people for being insecure about their image and appearance. So much emphasis is placed on women's (and sometimes men) only value being their beauty. The fact that many people have killed themselves over this very insecurity, probably coupled by others, makes it a serious issue. Why is you being suicidal over the insecurity of others more worthy than them being suicidal over their own insecurity? Their insecurity is their problem. Why is it yours?

And I know, many of you ladies say, 'Well, the men expect you to look good so that's why we do it. It's their fault.' What a bunch of baloney. No, the truth is 'certain men' want that and you give in. I don't 'expect' anyone to dress or look anyway, nor do I want it. So don't give me that; YOU put it on yourself. You do not 'have to' be vain, no one's 'making' you, ok?
I say society hyper-sexualizes and sensationalizes looks and tells people this is what they should be. Not just looks. The way we act, how pleasant our personalities are etc.

Perhaps people shouldn't adhere to these standards, but they do. The very fact it exists makes it an issue, whether you like it or not. I don't like it. It doesn't mean I don't get trapped in the mirror thinking I'm hideous.

Also, you seem to contain some disdain for women in particular.

Now, I get this as it sucks, but at the same time isn't this a little shallow for a suicide website? I mean, we got people going through all sorts of hell, attempts, horrible circumstances and now we get, "Wah, I can't have a baby." Grow up a little, believe me there are much worse things to deal with in the world. Why are you even on this website? That bothers me, and no, I don't apologize because you're taking up resources from someone else more in need. And you don't care.
You do not get to say who deserves people's time and resources. This is a peer-support site, meaning if someone wants to give their advice, care, support to them, that's their choice and you don't get to deem who is worthy of it and who is not.

The fact that you lack empathy for a person who's here because they can't have a baby is your issue. Don't respond, you know. Move onto something else. This person who can't have a baby may deem your issue of people being insecure about their body image less serious than they fact they can't create a life.

Either way, we all have one common struggle and that's persistent suicide ideation.

Also, if you really want to have a discussion about this then it might be a good idea to reply to those who are willing to discuss. Otherwise it just seems like you're trying to antagonize?
 

Paisley

* * *
SF Artist
SF Supporter
#5
Awhile ago someone posted on this site about having a sperm donor, children naturally, or adoption. Now, I get this as it sucks, but at the same time isn't this a little shallow for a suicide website? I mean, we got people going through all sorts of hell, attempts, horrible circumstances and now we get, "Wah, I can't have a baby." Grow up a little, believe me there are much worse things to deal with in the world. Why are you even on this website? That bothers me, and no, I don't apologize because you're taking up resources from someone else more in need. And you don't care.
This part is a personal attack on a member here, so regardless of whether your overall point has any validity, the personal attack is likely going to get the overall post removed.
 

Walker

Admin-a-monkey
Staff member
ADMIN
SF Social Media
SF Supporter
#6
I think that you're judging people based on the same thing that someone else would judge you on, which is pretty messed up, right? Someone else would look at you and think you're terribly boring and I'm sure you don't give one shit about that. Another person who has tattoos and blue hair also doesn't care one bit what you think. It doesn't make anyone shallow to do and be whatever they like - even if that's to follow a trend. Are you telling me you never bought a brand name product as a teenager? Drove a shit car all your life and dated only the ugly girls because it was all personality and you wouldn't want their good looks to make you look bad. Come on, man. None of that makes anyone shallow - it makes people unique and if that's not your preference, then that's fine - you date all the "girls next door" and leave the ones with tattoos and piercings for me.
 

Walker

Admin-a-monkey
Staff member
ADMIN
SF Social Media
SF Supporter
#7
Now, I get this as it sucks, but at the same time isn't this a little shallow for a suicide website? I mean, we got people going through all sorts of hell, attempts, horrible circumstances and now we get, "Wah, I can't have a baby." Grow up a little, believe me there are much worse things to deal with in the world. Why are you even on this website?
I do feel like this is saying something right here..... not about us though.
 

Dark111

SF Supporter
#8
It's me again SF. Why? Oh, I guess my long term goal is to have on my resume when I get to the end is being kicked off a suicide website for speaking the truth. That would be great, wouldn't it? Some of you don't like me, and I'm about to add to that. That's ok, the feeling is mutual just so you know. Anyway, I just wanted to make it known how much vanity makes me extremely disappointed to the point of ending my life. I am struggling with appearance/body image, but the thing I'm struggling with is why does it matter so much to you? That isolates me, because I'm not like that. I don't want that.

We live in an extremely vain and shallow society, that's getting worse everyday. That's fact. An why is it, why is that the major concern on people's minds when there is so many important other issues going on is their appearance? They didn't do this 100 years ago, not to this level. Back then, if the choice was to spend your money on getting your hair dyed or buying a loaf of bread to feed your family, you'd be a fool not to spend it on the food. But now with the same choice, people make the bad spending decision and now expect a handout for their foolishness. And to make it worse, than people with no backbone give it to them.

This 'look at me' society today makes me sick. Tattoos, hair dye, clothing, accessories, expensive and unnecessary phone, why? It's a major turn off to me to see a girl with a bunch of tattoos, piercings, or weird hair styles or colors. The first thing that says to me is you don't mind being fake. The second thing it tells me is you're probably not very good with your spending. And third and worst thing that it tells me is you probably don't have very much self esteem. Hundreds, thousands of dollars spent in the name of vanity and much of the time by people who don't even have the money to spend. Then they complain about being 'broke'. And I know, many of you ladies say, 'Well, the men expect you to look good so that's why we do it. It's their fault.' What a bunch of baloney. No, the truth is 'certain men' want that and you give in. I don't 'expect' anyone to dress or look anyway, nor do I want it. So don't give me that; YOU put it on yourself. You do not 'have to' be vain, no one's 'making' you, ok?

Have I ever done foolish things appearance wise to get something I wanted? Sure, I've made lot's of mistakes. Lot's of bad ideas and money wasted trying to be someone I wasn't. But usually after a time of living that way, I come to my senses and say 'This is dumb. Why am I doing this? For whom am I doing this? Awhile ago someone posted on this site about having a sperm donor, children naturally, or adoption. Now, I get this as it sucks, but at the same time isn't this a little shallow for a suicide website? I mean, we got people going through all sorts of hell, attempts, horrible circumstances and now we get, "Wah, I can't have a baby." Grow up a little, believe me there are much worse things to deal with in the world. Why are you even on this website? That bothers me, and no, I don't apologize because you're taking up resources from someone else more in need. And you don't care.

I really feel like I'm living in some kind of nightmarish cartoon with how people act(and hide). Now, before you rip your claws into me I want to point out that there is nothing wrong with looking a certain way if you enjoy it, or are doing it for good reasons. I just question why are you doing them. You can usually tell the people who do it just because it's who they are, and those who are just pretending. For example, if you get a tat because something has high meaning and value to you, great. But if you get a tat just because everyone else got one, that's what I mean. And why are people so concerned about showing the world who they are anyway? Me, I'm the opposite. I fly under the radar. I like living frugal with Goodwill clothing, cheap $10 Walmart shoes because they're practical and nothing wrong with them. Humility, did we forget this at some point hmm?

So fine, hate me, kill me, call me whatever I'll take it all as I normally do. Just remember, one day we are all going to be bones and I don't think the living are really going to care what color your hair was when you died. If someone has to act a certain way, dress a certain way just to attract that thing in your life, is that really worth it? Is that really a good thing that you compromised? Are you proud of that? I don't run my life anymore by those bogus rules, and I'm so glad for that. Just remember next time you do whatever shallow thing you're going to do, you're putting another dagger in my heart. Peace
I hear exactly what you'r e saying Sane Man. I've never felt the need to dye my hair blue or get tatooes or piercings and I didn't play the field with all the chads until my fertility window was closing and I was reaching menopause but somehow expected a 6 foot 6-figure salaried CEO to want to to settle for my rancid bones. Feminism has turned insane nowadays. But I promise you there are still normal women out there. I know such women myself. Now I live in a pretty conservative country but it's rapidly changing. But I don't see it leading anywhere good.

But let me ask you, do you keep in good shape yourself?
 

Sane Man

Sane Possum
#9
Well, I guess today is my last day on SF. I'm done. The reason all you are against this is because you are part of it and can't see it. It's not good for me or anyone else for me to be on this website anymore. You want to live in bullshit, go ahead. Do it far away from me. Congrats, you got what you wanted, I'm leaving. I did my best, I'm sorry for the legit people on this site. I'm not going to deal with the constant back and forth of arguing reality and illusion. You create a lot of suicides, not help them by... Forget it. Good bye :)
 
#10
I hear exactly what you'r e saying Sane Man. I've never felt the need to dye my hair blue or get tatooes or piercings and I didn't play the field with all the chads until my fertility window was closing and I was reaching menopause but somehow expected a 6 foot 6-figure salaried CEO to want to to settle for my rancid bones. Feminism has turned insane nowadays. But I promise you there are still normal women out there. I know such women myself. Now I live in a pretty conservative country but it's rapidly changing. But I don't see it leading anywhere good.

But let me ask you, do you keep in good shape yourself?
Thank you. You're very nice, but it's over. I truly wish peace for someone like you, maybe well meet again.
 

Dark111

SF Supporter
#13
That is some insanely judgemental shit there. It's not anyone's right to say what is shallow or not. It's very subjective, what may appear shallow and unimportant to you may be important to someone else and vice versa. And to tell someone to grow up and stop moaning if they can't have a baby is just absolutely unacceptable. Why are you here? What gives you the right to decide what's worthy of being depressed over? This is a support site. If you genuinely want support, you've come to the right place but if you just want to criticize others and call them shallow for being distressed about things that you consider shallow, maybe you need to think about whether this is the right place for you.
But don't people need support when they feel alienated from all the people around them? And I do believe we live in a society where men are particularly alienated. Women can do no wrong and men are just predatory scum. That's the narrative. In fact companies now have quotas where they have to hire a certain amount of women, not because they're the most qualified for the job but simply because they're women. Now maybe Sane Man didn't communicate that in the "nicest" terms but can't you see past that and see what his frustration is? He may have no one else to talk to.
 

Sunspots

★☆ Comfortably Sunny☆★
Staff member
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#14
can't you see past that and see what his frustration is? He may have no one else to talk to.
Of course I can which is why is said that if he genuinely wants support then he's come to the right place. But nobody here has the right to belittle the reasons why another member is here. It is not acceptable to do that and even single out another member for consideration. It is not anyone's place to call into question the validity of their reasons for being here.

I'm not going to get into another discussion with you about scoring points between men and women. We've had that discussion here before and it is not appropriate.
 

Nick

☆☆Ducking Fantastic ☆☆
Staff member
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#15
Well, I guess today is my last day on SF. I'm done. The reason all you are against this is because you are part of it and can't see it. It's not good for me or anyone else for me to be on this website anymore. You want to live in bullshit, go ahead. Do it far away from me. Congrats, you got what you wanted, I'm leaving. I did my best, I'm sorry for the legit people on this site. I'm not going to deal with the constant back and forth of arguing reality and illusion. You create a lot of suicides, not help them by... Forget it. Good bye :)
This is a legitimate question, not meant as an attack. At any point on any topic have you considered that you many be the one viewing things through the wrong lenses?

I'm not into vanity myself. I've never had money, don't suppose I ever will. I own name brand clothing. Sure, picked it up at Good Will or some budget store for a few bucks. My North Face fleece has lasted for years, is excellent quality I could care less that it's "name brand" but it's lasted far longer the the Walmart version. I paid $3 for it. If you saw me wearing that fleece, would you assume I am one of those vain people? Based on that I own something? That I'm wearing Under Armour shoes that are 3 yrs old, one of two pairs of shoes I own and bought for $20? You wouldn't know any of that though, you'd just know I'm wearing name brand shoes that retail for $125 a pair. Why did I buy those shoes? Because my feet are shaped strange and that is one of three brands that doesn't make my feet hurt, and when I say hurt I mean hurt so badly I can barely walk.

There is far more to someone than what you see at a glance. Using a bunch of superficial arbitrary criteria to determine who is vain and who is not is incredibly judgmental. The same is true of someone's reason for being on a suicide site. Everybody has a story, and chances are you aren't going to find the whole of it in one post.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount
$600.00
Goal
$255.00
Top