It's me again SF. Why? Oh, I guess my long term goal is to have on my resume when I get to the end is being kicked off a suicide website for speaking the truth. That would be great, wouldn't it? Some of you don't like me, and I'm about to add to that. That's ok, the feeling is mutual just so you know. Anyway, I just wanted to make it known how much vanity makes me extremely disappointed to the point of ending my life. I am struggling with appearance/body image, but the thing I'm struggling with is why does it matter so much to you? That isolates me, because I'm not like that. I don't want that.
We live in an extremely vain and shallow society, that's getting worse everyday. That's fact. An why is it, why is that the major concern on people's minds when there is so many important other issues going on is their appearance? They didn't do this 100 years ago, not to this level. Back then, if the choice was to spend your money on getting your hair dyed or buying a loaf of bread to feed your family, you'd be a fool not to spend it on the food. But now with the same choice, people make the bad spending decision and now expect a handout for their foolishness. And to make it worse, than people with no backbone give it to them.
This 'look at me' society today makes me sick. Tattoos, hair dye, clothing, accessories, expensive and unnecessary phone, why? It's a major turn off to me to see a girl with a bunch of tattoos, piercings, or weird hair styles or colors. The first thing that says to me is you don't mind being fake. The second thing it tells me is you're probably not very good with your spending. And third and worst thing that it tells me is you probably don't have very much self esteem. Hundreds, thousands of dollars spent in the name of vanity and much of the time by people who don't even have the money to spend. Then they complain about being 'broke'. And I know, many of you ladies say, 'Well, the men expect you to look good so that's why we do it. It's their fault.' What a bunch of baloney. No, the truth is 'certain men' want that and you give in. I don't 'expect' anyone to dress or look anyway, nor do I want it. So don't give me that; YOU put it on yourself. You do not 'have to' be vain, no one's 'making' you, ok?
Have I ever done foolish things appearance wise to get something I wanted? Sure, I've made lot's of mistakes. Lot's of bad ideas and money wasted trying to be someone I wasn't. But usually after a time of living that way, I come to my senses and say 'This is dumb. Why am I doing this? For whom am I doing this? Awhile ago someone posted on this site about having a sperm donor, children naturally, or adoption. Now, I get this as it sucks, but at the same time isn't this a little shallow for a suicide website? I mean, we got people going through all sorts of hell, attempts, horrible circumstances and now we get, "Wah, I can't have a baby." Grow up a little, believe me there are much worse things to deal with in the world. Why are you even on this website? That bothers me, and no, I don't apologize because you're taking up resources from someone else more in need. And you don't care.
I really feel like I'm living in some kind of nightmarish cartoon with how people act(and hide). Now, before you rip your claws into me I want to point out that there is nothing wrong with looking a certain way if you enjoy it, or are doing it for good reasons. I just question why are you doing them. You can usually tell the people who do it just because it's who they are, and those who are just pretending. For example, if you get a tat because something has high meaning and value to you, great. But if you get a tat just because everyone else got one, that's what I mean. And why are people so concerned about showing the world who they are anyway? Me, I'm the opposite. I fly under the radar. I like living frugal with Goodwill clothing, cheap $10 Walmart shoes because they're practical and nothing wrong with them. Humility, did we forget this at some point hmm?
So fine, hate me, kill me, call me whatever I'll take it all as I normally do. Just remember, one day we are all going to be bones and I don't think the living are really going to care what color your hair was when you died. If someone has to act a certain way, dress a certain way just to attract that thing in your life, is that really worth it? Is that really a good thing that you compromised? Are you proud of that? I don't run my life anymore by those bogus rules, and I'm so glad for that. Just remember next time you do whatever shallow thing you're going to do, you're putting another dagger in my heart. Peace
We live in an extremely vain and shallow society, that's getting worse everyday. That's fact. An why is it, why is that the major concern on people's minds when there is so many important other issues going on is their appearance? They didn't do this 100 years ago, not to this level. Back then, if the choice was to spend your money on getting your hair dyed or buying a loaf of bread to feed your family, you'd be a fool not to spend it on the food. But now with the same choice, people make the bad spending decision and now expect a handout for their foolishness. And to make it worse, than people with no backbone give it to them.
This 'look at me' society today makes me sick. Tattoos, hair dye, clothing, accessories, expensive and unnecessary phone, why? It's a major turn off to me to see a girl with a bunch of tattoos, piercings, or weird hair styles or colors. The first thing that says to me is you don't mind being fake. The second thing it tells me is you're probably not very good with your spending. And third and worst thing that it tells me is you probably don't have very much self esteem. Hundreds, thousands of dollars spent in the name of vanity and much of the time by people who don't even have the money to spend. Then they complain about being 'broke'. And I know, many of you ladies say, 'Well, the men expect you to look good so that's why we do it. It's their fault.' What a bunch of baloney. No, the truth is 'certain men' want that and you give in. I don't 'expect' anyone to dress or look anyway, nor do I want it. So don't give me that; YOU put it on yourself. You do not 'have to' be vain, no one's 'making' you, ok?
Have I ever done foolish things appearance wise to get something I wanted? Sure, I've made lot's of mistakes. Lot's of bad ideas and money wasted trying to be someone I wasn't. But usually after a time of living that way, I come to my senses and say 'This is dumb. Why am I doing this? For whom am I doing this? Awhile ago someone posted on this site about having a sperm donor, children naturally, or adoption. Now, I get this as it sucks, but at the same time isn't this a little shallow for a suicide website? I mean, we got people going through all sorts of hell, attempts, horrible circumstances and now we get, "Wah, I can't have a baby." Grow up a little, believe me there are much worse things to deal with in the world. Why are you even on this website? That bothers me, and no, I don't apologize because you're taking up resources from someone else more in need. And you don't care.
I really feel like I'm living in some kind of nightmarish cartoon with how people act(and hide). Now, before you rip your claws into me I want to point out that there is nothing wrong with looking a certain way if you enjoy it, or are doing it for good reasons. I just question why are you doing them. You can usually tell the people who do it just because it's who they are, and those who are just pretending. For example, if you get a tat because something has high meaning and value to you, great. But if you get a tat just because everyone else got one, that's what I mean. And why are people so concerned about showing the world who they are anyway? Me, I'm the opposite. I fly under the radar. I like living frugal with Goodwill clothing, cheap $10 Walmart shoes because they're practical and nothing wrong with them. Humility, did we forget this at some point hmm?
So fine, hate me, kill me, call me whatever I'll take it all as I normally do. Just remember, one day we are all going to be bones and I don't think the living are really going to care what color your hair was when you died. If someone has to act a certain way, dress a certain way just to attract that thing in your life, is that really worth it? Is that really a good thing that you compromised? Are you proud of that? I don't run my life anymore by those bogus rules, and I'm so glad for that. Just remember next time you do whatever shallow thing you're going to do, you're putting another dagger in my heart. Peace
