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How was your childhood?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Petal, Oct 13, 2015.

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  1. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    As the title states, how was your childhood?
    Mine was great, I played tennis, did Tae Kwon Do, Irish dancing,soccer, badminton, set dancing, modelling, basketball. it was a fantastic childhood up until I was 12. I had a good home, felt loved and cared for and I definitely was cared about. Had a great communion and confirmation day, spent holidays in northern Ireland by the beach.. I don't know how it came to this after having such a wonderful and loving childhood. I guess... that is just life for ya!
    So please feel free to tell us about yours?
  2. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    It was bad but my adulthood is even worse, so I'm not sure why I still bother with anything.
  3. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Mine was a very mixed bag.
    Due to my mum being in a mental hospital, I kind of brought myself up.
    However, dad was great and any happy memories are all wrapped up in him.
  4. AngelofPainandMisery

    AngelofPainandMisery Permanent loser

    I actually don't know anymore.
    I had food, shelter, toys, parents that said they loved me, electronic devices, never was mistreated physically, I had everything I needed or wanted (to an extent of course), physical needs were met, I had fun birthday parties and got presents. I had three good meals a day, pretty clothes, and a nice house to live in. I have several good memories (maybe they were happy memories even) from childhood (I define childhood before ages 6-8).Yet I have self-harmed/wanted to die since I was 3, so go figure.
    I have suspected CEN but I really don't know, a lot of what I have read matches my situation almost exactly. I grew up in an authoritarian, extremely conservative, and very (hypocritically) christian home. My parents are very strict and I am made well aware that I am the child and bound by the rules with no right to question them (even if I forget on occasion or just aren't aware). My parents are the parents, and they can make and break the rules whenever and however they please, no reason needed. Spankings were common, and I was (actually still am) afraid of them for reasons I can't explain, they can explode at anything for any number of reasons. One minute I am praised the next, ridiculed and yelled at. When I was ten I turned into a pathological liar because I never knew what would happen if I did or didn't tell the truth, and it really didn't make any difference. I can't trust them, the things I tell them they use against me. They are embarrassed and ashamed of me. I have very little in common with them other than blood, I have wondered and still wonder if I am even biologically related to them, the difference is so large. Name calling is still common. They never really want to hear about the stuff I am interested in or like to do, its either too weird or I'm being a know-it-all, or they just don't care. They often treat me as more of a possession than a person and use their authority to shame me and force me into compliance when there really isn't a reason to, my religious beliefs are an example of this, along with my sexual orientation (asexual/demisexual, not really anything to get upset about, even in their cherry-picked belief system). Nor have I felt they really loved me since I was 2 1/2. But what really hurts is I can never make them understand what I feel or why they never seem to understand the importance I have given to traumatic instances of my life. They still like to joke about my institutionalization and taking me back there, and I still think, they think, I imagined what happened to me when I was 6 sometimes I wish and think I did, no one ever did believe me or thought it was important.
    But I've not exactly been the most perfect child either and I probably shouldn't complain. Every time I think about this I hear my mom's voice and what she says every time there is a child abuse story on the news saying: "You think we are bad parents. But we've never sold you for drugs or sex, locked you in a basement and starved you, or put you in harm's way." And I remember an argument I got into with my mom this summer, she asked me how she was a bad parent and I couldn't give any reason, even if I could/there was a reason, I could never say it out loud.
    I have an ACE (Adverse Childhood Experience) score of 3 or maybe 4, depending on you definition of certain terms, if that means anything.

    I should have never made this post, it is so wrong of me to say these things, I have no right to. I'm sorry
  5. AnotherChristian

    AnotherChristian Active Member

    I guess I would say "so so". I mean, there wasn't anything tragic about it. Basically I got really good grades and generally didn't have friends.

    Concerning family life, I was a middle child (2 older siblings and 2 younger siblings). I cannot say whether it is true, as a general pattern, that middle children get the short end of the stick; but it was true for me.
  6. Trueblu

    Trueblu Member

    Horrible childhood but still some fond memories. Raised by a single parent with limited education, rebel of her family, my grandmother hated my mother (still does) & my mother carried on the family curse & basically treated me like a slave. I am the oldest of three, always considered a beautiful child. My self esteem didn't agree. My brother wasn't raised with us though. My sister & I both were mentally, emotionally & physically abused by our mother but ironically enough she would protect us from ANYONE who dared tried to reprimand us. If she thought someone made an type of inappropriate sexual comments, or innuendo should would lose it. Extremely protective of us. Unfortunately my sister is bipolar/ schizoaffective. Both of us have been sexually abused. We never told our mother because we were afraid she would kill the person. There's so much more to this awful story but the point is yes my childhood was awful, my marriage awful & adulthood hasn't been much better due to poor choices & trying to be everything to my son that my mother wasn't to me. My sensitive & caring heart has been my demise. Did I mention my son was also diagnosed bipolar/schizoaffective?!? Well yes he is & I didn't think I would make it through several hospitalizations, jail, episodes, violence towards me & others (homicidal).
  7. Inanimate

    Inanimate Well-Known Member

  8. Purple_Thorn

    Purple_Thorn Well-Known Member

    My childhood was a bit different. I am the oldest of three children. My brother, the second child, has severe disabilities. Namely, Down syndrome and severe Autism. He is also non-verbal. So my family was really introverted. We had fun at home, doing puzzles and playing games, but we never really went out except for school. I don't regret my childhood, I just wish I was able to have more experiences.
  9. Sea Sparkles

    Sea Sparkles Well-Known Member

    My childhood was more like "early adult hood" I had a sister whom had a form of down-sydrome (speaking form) that was 3 years older than me (altho I had to "look after her") and then a sister whom was born when I was 7 yrs old. I was expected to change her, bathe her, feed her, etc.. and when my mom's bf at the time got severally drunk at 12am, run out of the house with the baby, and my older sister and hide at the park till my mom would come and get us and it was "safe" (i.e him being arrested or passing out). When he left...... she started hard-core drugs, drinking, and letting any guy in the house (and many). I knew from a very young age she was doing drugs, and doing bad things to *get* drugs. My dad....... (trigger story) and not going to get into it!!!
  10. bhawk

    bhawk Well-Known Member

    My childhood was pretty rough, rougher than i let people know....but im still here and fighting stronger every day.
    It screwed me up for most of my adolescence but i found the only solution was to simply accept it and let it go. It made a massive difference.
    Sounds simple. Not so simple.
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