How will he feel?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Nadzeya, Aug 5, 2014.

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  1. Nadzeya

    Nadzeya Member

    Like ive said befor ive been struggleing a lot with depression. In the past ive attempted and im almost 16 so yeah :/ . But currently i have a boyfriend and i love him so much i just adore him. But also i almost cant control my depression, thoughts, and actions and hace come to a conclusion that im probably not gonna live to 17 or 18.......... I wanna know what kind of pain i might be causing and leaving him with and how long hes gonna feel that way.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You will just past your pain to him and he will feel that pain forever he will feel guilty for not being able to help you more. He will blame himself forever I know ok i know because it never ends Depression can be treated it can with therapy with meds you have to reach out and get the help you need so you do not pass on the pain so you have hope again.
     
  3. Nadzeya

    Nadzeya Member

    Hope is my middle name and actually my nickname for this sight......but yeah i have little. I dont know how to reach out because last time i sought help i was called a liar and an attention *****. The last thing i want to do is hurt him its just i dont know what to do and im declining slowly
     
  4. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Talk to a therapist and figure out whats bothering you before dragging someone into your personal issues. Sometimes it helps talking to your loved one sometimes it can backfire and make things worse.
     
  5. Cooki

    Cooki Well-Known Member

    Hey, c'mon Nadzeya, I'm almost 15, didn't feel much better than you half a year ago. The question of how long it would follow your boyfriend is already answered by eclipse: forever. My ex knew a girl who died almost two years ago. She wasn't that near to him, but he feels bad because he could have saved her (at least that's what he thinks. She didn't want to die, but that makes it neither better nor worse). He was happy before that, now he's suicidal as well. So, what I want to say by that, it would hurt your boyfriend really really much. You don't want to hurt him? Then reach out! Maybe there's a teacher at school who can help..? If I was able to get through that as a 14-year-old, then you can make it too..! I believe in you. Everything will be okay, trust me.
     
  6. Nadzeya

    Nadzeya Member

    I cant really tell my mom to take me to a doctor cause of money problems and such. Also she doesnt belive i have depression ans suicidal thoughts (she found ou last time i got "help" from the shool councelor) she thought i was doing it all for attention.
     
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi hun, unfortunately I do not think there is an answer to your questions. Suicide and the death of a loved one affects people differently. But it is avoidable, you can get through this whether you believe it or not. Forget the people saying you're looking for attention, depression is a very serious and proven condition that can affect literally just about anyone. I would suggest talking to the counsellor again because I don't think you have anything to lose :hug:
     
  8. Cooki

    Cooki Well-Known Member

    My parents don't think that any mental diseases even exist, so I couldn't get help either. I'm too shy to go to the counsellor at school because I'm affraid of making a mistake if I don't have a clear instruction how to tell that guy even that I have a problem in the first place (I'm socially awkward, really really awkward :D ). So, I kinda know what it's like not to be able to actually reach out. Maybe try doing sports or so (I'm a lazy couch-potato, but I sometimes get myself to go for a run and it makes me think of something else). Today I randomly read an article about how sports can help get over depression as good as therapy-sessions. And still, never give up your hope, okay?
     
  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    you can't teach an old dog new tricks hun and I know many people that do not believe it exists, even a doctor I met once (locum) saw me having a full blown panic attack, I asked him if a woman was blue and couldn't breathe what would you do? He said I'd dial 999. I said just because you cannot see my illness does not mean it does not exist and then I got a lecture of how the meds are addictive but my point to him was clear and I did get the meds I needed for that day.
     
  10. Nadzeya

    Nadzeya Member

    Ive tried sports and i do drama club at school but like it helps for a little while and then i get bad again. I was talking to a girl im makeing friends with and we started talking about really personal stuff and i told her about my issues and she was just shocked. She would neve have guessed that i am constantly depressed or that i used to cut for years an that i alwys think about dieing. Thats why my mom doesnt belive me.... The counselor will jist tell my mom (theres no real confidentiallity with counselors) so i cant even just go and rant about this and get good advice and help because again theres no secrets when your a minor. Its like im trying to hold on to what i can but it feels like even that is slowly slipping away and im just abou readdy to fall away from reality
     
  11. Cooki

    Cooki Well-Known Member

    I really hope you'll be alright. I don't know who or what the causes of your depression are, but if there is a possibility to avoid these then do so. For example for me it partly is my parents, so I meet up with my boyfriend quite often so I don't have to be near my parents.
     
  12. Klute

    Klute Member

    The "doing it for attention" thing drives me insane. The really stupid thing is that a large part of it IS that person absolutely crying out for "attention", or, to use a rather less horribly derogatory and unhelpful way of expressing it, support, love, reassurance, sympathy and help to get better. Seriously, if you need "attention" so badly, you are considering suicide, then maybe, just maybe, that need is a serious one. And maybe "attention" is something that everyone needs, suicidal or not.
     
  13. Nadzeya

    Nadzeya Member

    Im not doing or thinking this stuff for attention. Its just there its not like i plot out how to get attention i mean i get enough of it to last me forever i just cant help it if im depressed or thinking about suicide. I cant go to my friends about this because they wont be able to handle it, last time they were really freaked out and scared so now i put on the funny charismatic mask on and pretend theres nothing wrong. Like ive said attention has nothing to do with this
     
  14. Klute

    Klute Member

    I'm sorry, I did not mean at all to imply that you were "attention seeking". In fact, I completely understand how you feel. My problem is with the term itself. I think those words are often used very inappropriately by those who do not understand to denigrate and dismiss what is actually an urgent need for help and the stupidity of using those words to a person who is depressed makes me angry. The term "attention seeking" is horrible.
     
  15. Klute

    Klute Member

    I put the term in quotes to emphasize how stupid I think those words are, not that you yourself are stupid or "attention seeking". I think your need for help is serious and those words are just wrong. I am sorry if I expressed that badly and maybe made you think that I was also applying those hurtful words to you. I am not, I promise you. xxx
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 8, 2014
  16. Nadzeya

    Nadzeya Member

    Yeah it kinda felt like you were siding with my mom in a way abd i was obviously not agreeing. But i understand now how you were saying the opposite
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 9, 2014
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