How will I make it through the holidays

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by yada, Nov 4, 2007.

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  1. yada

    yada Well-Known Member

    Well my closest family (or used-to-be-real family, my cousins) are still not speaking with me, and now we come to another holiday season and I'm starting to feel the sadness sinking in. I'm also overwhelmed because I have to move and am way behind on that. I also don't know where I'm moving to yet, and have only 3 weeks to do so. I'm avoiding imposing on any other friend as everyone has their own lives to deal with, and this depression has already cost me some relationships. But I'm not sure what else to do from here.

    Anyone here have any thoughts on how to make it through this period. I'm worried because I do have *method* all ready to go, but I really don't want to choose that path. I had been making progress with resolving my situation, or at least coming to terms with it, but took many steps backwards when my cousins kicked my out of their lives, and now I have that much more of a struggle to deal with.

    In all this time I found that having a friend to speak with, or just knowing that there's some compassion from someone trusted, has been my greatest help and support while I figured things out in my life. Simple things like being able to play with my nephews have kept me going all this time. But that seems to be over with now. I have no where to go for thanksgiving, christmas, or new year's eve. These next two months are going to devastate me, and I have no idea how I'll deal with it.

    Yes, I'm seeing a doctor, but I've slowed down on that because of cost, and I really wasn't getting answers as fast as I would've liked.

    Anyone suggestions? ...please.

    -Yada yada yada.
  2. yada

    yada Well-Known Member

    Wow. No one has *any* advice on this?! I really am doomed, aren't I? :sad:
  3. Puddytat

    Puddytat Well-Known Member

    youre not doomed. being alone on holiday seasons always kill me but i have made it through them.

    you will be moving so that will take up a lot of your attention and time, it can be very stressful but also exhilirating. find a place to share where you can at least have someone there. it can help with the lonliness, even if you dont socialise with them all the time.

    its good that you have been making some progress, just keep thinking ahead and how you will feel when you get to where you want to be.

    this holiday period doesnt have to be lonely, you can be alone but be perfectly happy about it, you just need to decide that you will be and take steps to feel that way. get into something you like to distract you. spoil yourself, make yourself a nice thanksgiving/christmas dinner. it will feel good even if you have no one to share it with. curl up on the couch and watch some dvds eating tons of popcorn and chocolates until you feel so sick. get yourself a bottle of wine (not promoting becoming alcoholic) a nice glass of wine on the odd evening does some good, for me anyway! set up a xmas tree and put pressies around it, things that you like that you can open even if you know what they are it still feels good to have something to open. buy some fireworks and set them off to entertain yourself for new years. take some silly pics of you entertaining yourself.

    family are not all all they are cracked up to be anyway.

    sorry, this is the best i can advise!
  4. yada

    yada Well-Known Member

    Thanks for responding puddytat. I have moved a lot in my life and always felt positive about it, because I was moving for a job or some other improvement in my life. My depression started with my last move (last year) and I think it's because I felt I was running from a failed life. This move is going to be similar, so I think it will make me feel worse.

    I had made a lot of progress when my cousins supported me and I was working out things on my own ... either coming up with answers or being able to cope with things that I could not change. But now my depression has turned to being most because of the situation with my cousins. They have been the only people that ever made me feel like I belonged somewhere, and for them to desert me now hurts really bad. I had also become very attached to their 2 little boys and now I can't see them again. It's been a couple months already and it hurts really bad still.

    The worst day of my life was last Christmas, because I spent it alone and no one called me. I sat at home and cried. I promised myself that I would not do that to myself again this year, but now it seems I'm doomed to being in the same situation. Being alone is going to devastate me. :cry:

    Right now, I'm not getting much work done and it's affecting me bad. I am overwhelmed with all I need to do to move and I don't even know where I'm moving to. And I have no one to turn to except some friends in a nearby city, but I don't want to burden them with my problems as it seems I have done with my cousins. Not sure how I became so pathetic. :sad:
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