How would you describe someone like this?

Discussion in 'Opinions, Beliefs, & Points of View' started by Sapphire, Jul 8, 2010.

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  1. Sapphire

    Sapphire Well-Known Member

    Someone who...

    - Snickers when he thinks someone is having trouble with something
    - Intentionally makes remarks in order to upset people to see their reaction and sees this as a game
    - Makes death threats and subsequently says it's just a joke
    - Has a lot of bottled up anger
    - Says he wants to beat people up when he finds them annoying
    - Says it's understandable that his friend broke up with his girlfriend because "after a few years of fucking her, it's just time for something else"
    - Says he's not interested in a woman when she's a "fatty"
    - Says he has no respect for anyone who is overweight yet thinks he himself is "fat" and eats way too much
    - Has in the past been cruel to animals and says this to people fairly casually
    - Says that if he has a girlfriend he initially "just wants have a lot of sex"
    - Crosses his eyes and imitates people with mental retardations in the middle of a conversation with someone
    - Says he doesn't understand why people get upset with him because of all the above
  2. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    A dick.
  3. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    I would ay this person is in pain, and is taking out on others. The part about being cruel to animals is a red flag, and I would encourage this person to seek professional and spiritual help. Blessings..
  4. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    I would say they have their own issues which they are unable to deal with, so they are trying to get attention but in a negative way if that makes sense?
  5. Sapphire

    Sapphire Well-Known Member

    Interesting responses... I'd love to hear more opinions as this obviously is a person I have met in real life.

    I have to go now but I'll check back later to see if there are any more replies and I'll elaborate a bit then, as well.

    All the best,
  6. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    he's a sad person, jealous at others and needs to destroy it because if he's not happy no one else should...that would make them superior to him and he doesn't want that....

    people like that are cowards, pathetic human beings...also he could have a sociopathic disorder...

    its sad really...I pity him...

    his life revolves around other's misery...knowing that others are unhappy makes him happy...that's it...that's all that person is...he lives for others....not himself...and not in the good sense of the term....
  7. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    Quite possibly a sociopath, certainly a bully/abuser.
    Mainly because of thinking making people upset is a game, and not realising how he is upsetting people, and objectifying/hurting people and animals in the way he is doing.

    Someone to stay well away from?
  8. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member

    I'd say he was brought up wrong, perhaps damaged childhood or managed incorrectly and now has the characteristics of the kind of person who ends up in jail for a crime against another human being.
  9. chjones21

    chjones21 Well-Known Member

    I would also say that his parenting probably has a lot to do with the situation. My own view is that bad parenting affects boys far more dramatically than girls in the whole nature v nuture debate, my feeling is that boys are 60% nuture and only 40% nature whereas girls are 60% nature and only 40% nurture (just my point of view!).

    There is every possibility that his relationship with his mother was dysfunctional, even if it was loving, and the relationship between his parents also emotionally abusive - so a part of his behaviour is just copying what he saw and learnt as a child to be "normal/everyday" way of emotionally interacting with others.

    It is just a thought, I am not a psychiatrist nor have any knowledge of psychiatry and that sort of thing but I would echo what everyone else has said on here, that is - he is probably a person best avoided. You can't help him, you are not a professional. You can only advise him to seek help whether that be through counselling or taking up some form of meditation or finding a "mentor" who is strong enough to help him.

    The violence against animals would seem to suggest that he feels hurt inside and yet it makes him feel better or relieves some of his internal hurt perhaps to hurt other, defenceless animals.

    If you try to step-in to help him, then it would probably be counter-productive because as someone above mentioned it is also attention-seeking behaviour and so if his actions garner him the attention then there is no reason for him to stop acting in that way - in fact, the opposite.

    I think what he needs to realise is that his situation is changeable, should he want to change it --- and that when he does change it will be BETTER. Everything will be better.

    With people who have had a very dysfunctional upbringing I think often 'reason' is not a sufficiently strong way to get through to them. There is a phrase that "irresponsible people do not understand reason, they only understand consequences". On the superficial level, the consequences of his behaviour are to get the attention he wants and to relieve some of the mental pressure that he is under --- but on a REAL level, it is only aggravating his situation, if he can get to the point to understand that then perhaps he will have the motivation to change but the other trouble is that very selfish people can be attractive in some ways because of their almost laser-like focus, they can be almost charismatic and because of their upbringing masters of emotional manipulation. Any which way, I think beyond advising him that life can be better and that he can seek help through meditation, counselling and other options you are best advised to drop him and distance yourself as quickly as possible.
  10. twistedwhispers

    twistedwhispers Member & Antiquities Friend

    He sounds like a serial killer in the making. :hiding:

    Sorry for the short response but I am off to work.
  11. Sapphire

    Sapphire Well-Known Member

    Well, indeed. The word sociopath came to my mind, as well. I'm glad I'm not the only person who thinks this is possible. You guys are very perceptive. He indeed says he's unhappy. He has low self-esteem. And his parents are divorced as his father was abusive. I also found that the more I responded to his behavior the worse it got.

    The person I was talking about is a co-worker of mine. When I first met him he seemed OK. He was quiet and sort of friendly but over time I became more and more uneasy in his presence. It became obvious that there was a lot wrong with him. That he lacked decency, maturity and seemingly a sense of right and wrong.

    So I indeed tried to talk some sense into him. Not in the sense that I got angry with him but I just tried to make him see that he was wrong in thinking the way he did. And none of my efforts have made any difference whatsoever.

    He's a very popular collegue. Many people speak highly of him. They say "he's such a sweetheart!" and "he's just an all around good guy" but a lot of people haven't seen him the way I have. He's able to put on a mask, mimicking the behavior and the way of speaking of the people he's talking to at that time. But then e.g. when I'm alone with him working it's just Jekyll and Hyde.

    He has this look in his eyes sometimes which is terrifying. He has this angry, lifeless and bored look in his eyes and he emits this menacing vibe. It's chilling.

    He also tries to invoke sympathy by clearly feigning certain emotions. He pretends to be at the verge of tears while saying how hard things are for him and then a moment later he's all OK again, whilst instigating arguments.

    Anyway, the official diagnosis is autism. That's what the psychiatrists say he's got. He got placed at the company I work through this program for people who have special needs. But I wouldn't be surprised, judging by all the things I mentioned, that there may be more going on with him.

    In any case, I've already distanced myself from him. He also seems to be less excited about being in my presence now that I clearly told him I wouldn't stand for inappropriateness and the management is aware of his behavior, as well. So he's less of a bother and I'm also looking for another place to work anyway.
  12. Crue-K

    Crue-K Well-Known Member

    I'm quite sure that if people are honest with themselves, they can relate to and admit they have some of these personality traits.
  13. Sapphire

    Sapphire Well-Known Member

    Also, as far as him wanting to change... It's weird. He said not too long ago that this group therapy he could do was his last hope. As he was suicidal and this thing could perhaps change him. But now he's saying that he doesn't see the use of the group therapy. And he also said "Woohoo!" when he found out that the therapists there were powerless if he didn't co-operate.
  14. Sapphire

    Sapphire Well-Known Member

    I'd say that kid in your avatar seems able to relate at least. lol
  15. Things

    Things Well-Known Member

    I don't think he's autistic. For one, aren't autistic people supposed to be more emotionally sensitive? Two, I'm guessing he's better socially than most autistic people, seeing that he's popular. I'm assuming he's good at picking up social cues.

    Then again, I have a biased opinion on this so...

    He sounds like a sociopath, especially with how he must fake emotions, and the early animal abuse. He sounds scary.
  16. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    Someone who had a troubled upbringing and a worthless mother. These are the kind of people that need help the most. But there are bitches who find it best to make fun of them and belittle them and leave them alone to get worse, and then claim to be advocates of supporting those in most need of mental help.

    I despise this thread being "how would you describe someone like this" just to get a thrill or validation of your own judgment of this person, by calling someone you don't even know a mindless socio or psychopath.
  17. Tobes

    Tobes Well-Known Member

    Yet you have no problem directly saying this person had a "worthless mother", which is a worse thing to do than other members merely suggesting that the person in the topic could be, or probably is, a sociopath.

    I do not understand your reasoning here.

    EDIT: And for the record, anyone who has both read Sapphire's descriptions of this person and done some basic research on the traits of a sociopath would most likely come to the same conclusion that many in this thread already have come to, so please don't suggest that everyone is ganging up on a stranger just for kicks.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 9, 2010
  18. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    I don't care about anything you have to say to me. I saw the comment you left for my friend Jon here when he was in emotional pain. I miss nothing.

    Yes, it's obviously someone who is troubled whose mother was not available for him like she should have been, and that could at least partially account for many of his ways.
  19. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    And not only that, but you forget that one of the crucial criteria for Antisocial Personality Disorder (socio/psychopathy) is lack of conscience. It's so easy to label people as this when you don't know anything about them. I hardly see this as sociopathic behavior just because he says he hates fat people, uses women for sex, has anger problems, and is insecure with himself. Like grahamd said, a lot of people find themselves with many of these same traits at some point in life.

    For ten things that is said about another person through hearsay, there are a thousand things we don't know about. So I despise this because it encourages validation of people's judgments that another person, they barely even know, is [enter label here].
  20. Sapphire

    Sapphire Well-Known Member

    Well as you know, everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

    I didn't post this thread to get any kind of thrill. I posted this as I was concerned. Concerned for my safety. And in real life I am surrounded by people who just. don't. understand. much. of anything. or they're just indifferent and I needed to talk to people who's judgement I think is more sound about this.

    I'll be honest...I have been in danger of getting a burn out recently. I have been under a lot of continuous stress and it has been getting to me. With most people around me either trivializing this guy's ways or saying I am mad for thinking there's something wrong with him...some part of me was starting to doubt my own judgement, being as fatigued as I was. I was indeed in need of a verification that my judgement isn't faulty. Sounds strange but it's true. Also, I just wanted to know what other people's thoughts were regarding this.

    Don't see how there's anything wrong with that.

    Also, correct me if I'm wrong but are you saying he is in your opinion excused for all wrongdoings because he had a troubled upbringing and a lousy mother? Because if you are, I respectfully disagree...
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