how would you react

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by make this better, Mar 30, 2014.

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  1. make this better

    make this better New Member

    My husband of years & I try to celebrate our wedding anniversary on March 15th. It just so happens my mom passed away on that very same day 8 years after we were married. I have tried to have some happiness to our anniversary but it seems like her death on that day overshadows everything. I get depressed days before the 15th and arguments happen. I'm sorry but I miss my mom. I love my husband but I miss my mom. This year the anniversary was excruciatingly horrid. My daughter of 27 years made plans with her bf to go out of town and celebrate St Patty's Day, by the way, neither her nor my husband mentioned my mom in any way throughout the day. It just so happens my daughter posted pics of herself on facebook with her head tilted backwards and her pouring a shot into her mouth. Needless to say I was extremely embarrassed when I first saw the pic. I don't have any issue with anyone going out and having a good time, it was the pictures she posted that bothered me the most. I thought a more happy photo would have been a group shot or of her and her bf drinking a shot together would have been more tasteful. Maybe I'm wrong but I was very embarrassed with the photos she posted. I then talked to the husband about the pics and we got talking about the nationality of the family and he said my half was and I quote "crazy". I immediately got up took my drink and left. I did post a few remarks which did not come out the way I intended and the daughter took them all wrong as did her bf. Sunday when they returned I was immediately "the bad guy", the husband was not talking to me because I did not like the remark about my half of the family being crazy, and my daughter says I made her bf cry all the way home because of the comments I made on facebook. When the daughter came home on Sunday she proceeded to tell her dad about what I had said to her on FB, and then made the comment and I quote " she can kiss my ass". What daughter says that to her mom? Two days after this incident I went into the living room to try & talk to my husband and here comes my daughter, uninvited by the way, and proceeds to scream and yell about a msg I left for "my husband" and a little side note for her to feed her dog. She was not invited into this conversation I wanted to have with my husband but there she was screaming her head off, so I decided she was way too angry to deal with and proceeded to my bedroom to get the phone and call 911. A physical battle was the result and I have the scars to prove it. My right arm was so badly bruised it had 15 bruises 2 of which bleed profusely, the left arm was lucky that it only had 6, none of which bled. Am I wrong? Or was my daughter? No mom should have to take that verbal & physical abuse from anyone, let alone a daughter who we have helped more than she has deserved. We have bailed her out of credit card debt, my husband has financed 2 cars for her the last one was not needed and to this day she owes us $7000.00, by the way she is 27 years old. Her bf, on the morning of the physical abuse told me she loves to post pics of herself all over FB and I told her during the altercation and he called me a liar. Please tell me who is the bad guy in all of this? because my husband thinks it is me????? At this point I don't even want to look at her because of what she said. We are good people, never any problems, no drug use nothing, we are good people, yet I am the bad guy all the time.
  2. It will be better if you can schedule an appointment with a competent family service counselor and bring all your family members to the sessions. A counsellor in neutral stance is needed to sort out all issues here. A counselor who doesn't take side.
  3. soulreaper

    soulreaper Well-Known Member

    sounds like you have issues, every family does, I don't think it's anything to worry about, but if there is screaming and crying and abuse, you all need to seek help of a family counsellor.
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I think your daughter is 27 and needs to be out on her own and her business with bf needs to stay just that hers and his
    You and your husband need to sit down a lone and communicate how each is feeling and how to move forward with out interference of anyone else.
    Marriage counseling is always an option if things do not settle down soon hugs
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