How would you tell them?

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by honeyy, Apr 3, 2010.

  1. honeyy

    honeyy Member

    My parents know. My closest friends know. My teachers know (but not because I told them). Those who are smart enough to look at my pictures and read my profiletext on Facebook and put two and two together might have a clue what has happened.

    But I have so many friends and good friends who have no idea at all.. I mean, most don't stalk my Facebook-profile, so I understand that it's hard to know without me telling them. But how do I tell them?

    I can mostly talk about the situation fine, without crying I mean, though sometimes it depends on the person I'm talking to. I hate it when I talk about it like that though, and everybody feels sorry for me. Not a good feeling.. I notice at once that most of my friends are intimidated by it all, and they just try to avoid it. I understand that it is hard. Which also makes it harder for me to tell other people.

    So I have stopped telling people. I just let them believe that I'm in a bad mood for some other stupid reason. The last person I told, he is a good friend of mine, he got mad at me, and just completely stopped talking to me. I don't really blame him. He talks to me now, it's all good, but what I told him is never ever mentioned.

    I honestly wish most of them knew. It would be so much easier, I really do not enjoy people thinking I'm cranky all the time just for some stupid reason. I'm really a happy person. I just want them to sort of understand what I am going through, and how hard it really is.

    So how do I tell people? How would you tell someone that your best friend, and the one you loved more than anything else in the world, jumped in front of a train and killed himself?
  2. ASolitaryBlue

    ASolitaryBlue Well-Known Member

    i dont know. suicide is something that most people would rather ignore than confront, and when it is brought to their attention they all too often get angry rather than concerned. it's terrible, and one of the problems we face in today's society.

    i'm so sorry about your friend :console:
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 4, 2010
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You can tell them but not with the details because people cannot handle that. Tell them your friend struggled with living and in the end his sadness won. If you tell so directly they don't know how to respond they are themselves in shock and hurt over the loss i think. I am sorry for your pain and i think talking to someone who is a therapist will help you tell others in a way they can understand better