how ?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by meme333, Dec 20, 2013.

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  1. meme333

    meme333 Well-Known Member

    I really don't know how to go on. I have tried to do things to make me happy but it doesn't work
    I am alone and I can't pretend any more.

    I don't remember the rules of this forum but truly wish <mod edit - guidelines>.
    I don't want to hurt anymore.

    I would not be missed.
    I see this saying once in awhile that says the best place to be is in someone's thoughts...well I am not.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 20, 2013
  2. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    question: how do you know you are not in anyone's thoughts?

    sometimes, ppl may pass by you and glance your way
    even though you dont know them and they dont know you... they may think you look sad or that you may look a little unkempt or etc... and they may then wonder whats going on to make you feel that way or appear that way... bringing up many other possibilities of thoughts they may have

    other times, you may get in an argument with someone you argue with a lot, and dont think they give a damn about you... and yet, after the anger fades... the person may think "i wonder if somehow i'm hurting meme333 or if someone/somthing else is? how can i get through to meme333 that i care and just want to help?"

    other times... people may think negative things about you, sure.. we're human... all of us have mistakes, sometimes those mistakes are more noticeable than our good qualities to other people, sometimes our mistakes make us think false things about other people.... maybe their thoughts of you are false, or maybe they have picked up on one of your flaws....

    point is... i doubt seriously that you are not noticed at all

    and if you are noticed at all, someone, somewhere.... will think about you

    and if anybody ever thinks about you, they will notice when you are gone...

    just some food for thought
     
  3. meme333

    meme333 Well-Known Member

    I know I'm not but thanks
    Nice of you responding.
    Even on a suicide forum nobody wants to talk to me.
    I have tried everybody today that I know . I am reaching out and nothing.
    So do I post on Facebook....???..nope...I"m not the type.

    I give up.

    I'm sorry for all of you feeling this way....It sucks. I've felt it for years..I"ve tried. I"m a good person.
    Just disposable, unwanted, unneeded and uncared for.

    I am NOBODY
     
  4. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    then i guess we share a seat at the same table, because that is exactly how i feel too.... so lemme pull a chair up, sit down... and maybe we can share a tea together...
     
  5. NoMadicLiFe

    NoMadicLiFe New Member

    I'm new to this forum but I feel the same way meme333 and I'd be glad to talk to you.
     
  6. meme333

    meme333 Well-Known Member

    so what do we do? seriously? what? I get tired of the same responses from professionals and people who don't get it.
    I'm not saying it doesn't help from time to time ...but tired of hearing what "I" should do and then they go home to loved ones or whatever.
    I get tired of hearing a therapist say that not all her family is close..sure not all of it but you have a great parent, loving husband and child and others. It's not the same as being alone...nobody giving a crap if you live or die..Oh sure, if I went to someone and said..."I am going to kill myself" I'd get reaction...duh...but then the concern would change to me being nuts because who in their right mind talks that way...so what to do?
     
  7. meme333

    meme333 Well-Known Member

    You know I went all the last few days hoping that someone who calls herself my friend to contact me. Nope! But it's not specific to Christmas...It's all one way. If I don't go there, I'd never see her. She doesn't call....ever... She's the only person I have had in my life for a long time...mostly my effort...says she loves me but her actions speak volumes because she never comes here, we never do anything...seriously..what kind of friendship is that. I go to her house, help with the kids....that's it..nothing else...ever. She hardly responds to my emails and if she does it's brief...she's just too busy. She doesn't think outside of herself I'm told to understand that's her and not me but doesn't help with the hurt. It's her. I get it. But I still feel hurt. I think of others. I care. Wish I didn't. Then this wouldn't be so hard. Wish I was selfish and didn't give a crap about anybody. Maybe then I'd be happy.
     
  8. meme333

    meme333 Well-Known Member

    and still nothing. the cycle repeats and repeats...
    I hate being alone ..it's torment..it's pain...no more pain.
     
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