Hey. Heres a "short" I'm a 16 year old guy from England, in my final year of School, with my GCSE's coming up in just over a months time. I've been bullied for the majority of my school life, so that would be about 8-9 years now. Because of it I have very low self-esteem. I've grown to hate everything about myself. My body, my life, my family etc. I once even reached the point of seriously thinking about killing a few of the bullies at school. I'm very paranoid, but also intelligent, so I always have strong arguments to back up my reasoning, making myself even more sure I'm right. Out of all my friends at school, only 3 of them seem to understand what I go through. One of them is my best friend, and the other two go through the same things, though one of them has nearly killed herself a number of times, and if she ever succeeded, I'm not sure how well I'd cope. I am a cutter, and I'm not ashamed of this fact. My friends all know, but very few of them know how to handle it. I am however slightly ashamed about the suicidal feelings that I used to get, which nearly drove me other the edge. I even had a "practice hang", which didnt go too well, and I ended up breaking my curtain rail. Turns out it can't hold my weight. Were I to try again, I'm worried I'd succeed, as now my "plan" revolves around trains... Things are going okay for me these days, but I snap very easily, the next round of depression may happen soon... and if I get really bad, theres a good chance (in my mind anyway) that it may be my last... So yeah, thats why I joined, in a nutshell.