Discussion in 'Welcome' started by reddragon2410, Apr 15, 2008.

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  1. reddragon2410

    reddragon2410 Well-Known Member

    Hey. Heres a "short"

    I'm a 16 year old guy from England, in my final year of School, with my GCSE's coming up in just over a months time. I've been bullied for the majority of my school life, so that would be about 8-9 years now. Because of it I have very low self-esteem. I've grown to hate everything about myself. My body, my life, my family etc. I once even reached the point of seriously thinking about killing a few of the bullies at school.
    I'm very paranoid, but also intelligent, so I always have strong arguments to back up my reasoning, making myself even more sure I'm right.
    Out of all my friends at school, only 3 of them seem to understand what I go through. One of them is my best friend, and the other two go through the same things, though one of them has nearly killed herself a number of times, and if she ever succeeded, I'm not sure how well I'd cope.
    I am a cutter, and I'm not ashamed of this fact. My friends all know, but very few of them know how to handle it.
    I am however slightly ashamed about the suicidal feelings that I used to get, which nearly drove me other the edge. I even had a "practice hang", which didnt go too well, and I ended up breaking my curtain rail. Turns out it can't hold my weight. Were I to try again, I'm worried I'd succeed, as now my "plan" revolves around trains...

    Things are going okay for me these days, but I snap very easily, the next round of depression may happen soon... and if I get really bad, theres a good chance (in my mind anyway) that it may be my last...

    So yeah, thats why I joined, in a nutshell.
  2. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Welcome to the forum
  3. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    hi red

    welcome to the forum, i hope you find the help here that you are seeking.
    sounds like you have had a tough time mate but remember that at 16 the school bit is nearly over and that includes the bullying, a new stage in your life is about to begin.
    look forward to that and stay safe.
  4. Dying_Dreams

    Dying_Dreams Well-Known Member

    Hello and welcome to SF
  5. Gunner12

    Gunner12 Well-Known Member

  6. nagisa

    nagisa Staff Alumni

    Welcome to the forum!! :hug:
  7. Corieh Infected

    Corieh Infected Well-Known Member

    Welcome to SF my feel-bad-buddy!! <3
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    welcome to the forum :welcome:
  9. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forum
  10. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to SF. :hug:
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