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Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Smilie46, Feb 11, 2005.

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  1. Smilie46

    Smilie46 Well-Known Member


    I'm new here and don't really know what to do.

    I have been diagnosed with a major depressive illnesss and anxiety disorders. I have been in therapy for almost a year and my physocogist says I getting better. Its hard to see that though

    Smilie :confused:
  2. raw

    raw Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Smilie and welcome to the forum. I'm glad you found us. I think you will find many people with the same and similar diagnosis as yours. Folks here are understanding and supportive. This is also a very safe place to post and chat. I understand how difficult it is to overcome depression. I am happy to hear your therapist believes you are getting better. It takes awhile, and is sometimes hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But there is a light.

    I would like to know more about you and your situation. Please feel free to post as often as you want to and go to the chat room if you choose.

    Again, welcome to the forum.

  3. helena

    helena Staff Alumni

    hi Smilie46 :)
    welcome to the forum!
    i m glad you "found" us, i think many people here can relate to
    your situation and will be glad to help share their feelings and experiences
    with you.I ll be here myself to listen to you, support you as goed as i can...
    Well, i wish and hope you are doing better but feel free to vent en reach out for help, im sure youre needing some, and we re all glad to listen to you,get
    to know you better if you like.
    take care,
  4. Robin

    Robin Guest

    Welcome to the forum :) Sorry you had to find us this way but I'd like to offer you the invitation to post anytime you want, we don't have a cure all and most of us are still searching for answers ourselves but we can listen and chances are quite a few people will understand you.
  5. Smilie46

    Smilie46 Well-Known Member

    Thanks - It helps to talk

    Hello again,

    My physocologist believes that I have had depression and anxiety for many years. These became worse over the last two years.

    In August 2003 my 39 year old sister in law died suddenly from pnuemonia. She left behind my brother and three sons aged 12,9 and 18months. In December 2003 I was retrenched from my job. In January 2004 I was diagnosed with Sjogrens syndrome and Lupus. Late in 2003 I was diagnosed with Syndrome X. We also lost my 39 year old brother in November 1999 from a sudden heart attack.

    I have not dicussed either the depression or anxiety or the treatment I am receiving with any of my family or friends as I don't think they would understand. (You know when you don't need free advice but you have someone who needs to give you some.)

    Its hard to realise that you are getting better when you do feel down and worthless and treatment has been going on for so so long. Its very expensive here too. :eek:

    I think of suicide on most days. Its hard not too. Most times it is suicide ideation but at these times I still aren't able to tell myself that suicide is wrong.

    When I read back what I've written it's as if someone else has written it.

    Smilie46 :confused:

    P.S Thanks for the hug, Helena
  6. sosad

    sosad Well-Known Member


    Hi im sorry to hear that your having such a bad time, I think anybody in your postition would be depressed. Youve been given alot to cope with in a short amount of time. Im glad that the therapy is helping and that you continue to improve. Nice meeting you and hope you keep coming back

  7. Smilie46

    Smilie46 Well-Known Member

    I was also sexually abused as a child (on three occassions by three family members), (no intercourse). I recently told my therapist that I blamed my depression and social anxiety on that. She said that I was not totally correct. Now I am searching for something to blame.

    It sucks when your down all the time but you can't pinpoint something to fix and make things better.
  8. Robin

    Robin Guest

    You don't need to have a reason to suffer from depression, it can strike the healthiest, happiest person though you've certainly had your fair share of knocks the past few years which can't help any.
  9. Luliby

    Luliby Staff Alumni

    hi Smilie46,

    I've been suffering with depression for over a year now and I am just beginning to see an improvement. I tell you, that depression stuff can be real serious! I used to think it was just down with the blues or something... I have learned a lot! This is a very serious illness. My Dr. is using lithium 600mg as a "boost" to prevent suicidal thoughts. I have no understanding of how a pill can reduce suicidal thoughts but it actually does. You may want to let your DR. know how your feeling. Perhaps a change in meds or something new to help you get out of that terrible pit. I'm also on Effexor XR 150mg, and doxepin 75mg for sleep. I started out on Zoloft, then went to Lexapro. We just kept moving meds around to keep me alive. Alive for what? I don't know whats in the future but if there IS something good, then I want to be there when it happens.
  10. Smilie46

    Smilie46 Well-Known Member

    Hello again!

    I saw the therapist again this morning.

    She is going to help me schedule things that I would like to accomplish on a day to day basis.

    I'm finding that although I have very good intentions to do something I just don't get it done. At the moment this sort of attitude is affecting my eating habits, which are not great for my medical condition.

    Little things seem very very simple..............until I try and do them. :rolleyes:

    Smilie :)
  11. Robin

    Robin Guest

    Do what you can when you can and you'll be ok I think, it'll just take you a little longer.
  12. Smilie46

    Smilie46 Well-Known Member

    Gee, I've started a hot thread..........................if only I could be that interesting in real life.

    I'm off to the psychiarist and the phychologist again tommorrow. Sounds like a fun day. :rolleyes: Anyone want to come! :p

    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 28, 2005
  13. laxgirl

    laxgirl Well-Known Member

    Hmmm...would take you up on the offer but I am in a period of avoiding what I need to get me through my own demons and suffering...after all avoidance is what I'm best at!!! :p So thanks but no thanks! LOL (sorry just kidding really) I do hope it goes well for you and that things continue to look up! Keep on with the updates! Wishing you nothing but the best...sure it's a long journey but will be well worth it in the end! *hugs*
  14. Smilie46

    Smilie46 Well-Known Member

    Hello again,

    I got told by my physocogist that I have still got severe depression. She also said that I would have to "live" with some of it.

    Another prob, is that I have severe (I just love that word! :rolleyes: ) social anxiety. Can anyone share their ideas on getting through this. At the moment I even have probs approaching this forum. I do have a lot of trouble trusting people.

    Thanks and Keep Smiling - It makes people wonder what you've been up to!

  15. Jodi

    Jodi Staff Alumni


    Hello again,

    I got told by my physocogist that I have still got severe depression. She also said that I would have to "live" with some of it.

    Another prob, is that I have severe (I just love that word! ) social anxiety. Can anyone share their ideas on getting through this. At the moment I even have probs approaching this forum. I do have a lot of trouble trusting people.

    Thanks and Keep Smiling - It makes people wonder what you've been up to!


    First, sorry it has taken me so long to respond, and second, welcome to the forum. I can relate to being hard to trust people, I had felt the sam eway for many years, until recently. Have you been taught any grounding skills by your doc for when you feel real bad??? Are you aware of the different breathing techniques?? Sorry I know its not much, but when Im depressed/or anxscious, I try my best to distract my mind to think of something else, sometimes telling a close friend or someone you trust, how you feel in that moment. Sorry if I just babbled, I wish you well, and all the happiness in the world!!

  16. TinkerLoop

    TinkerLoop Well-Known Member

    hi welcome,

    it is often hard to see when you are getting better other people find it easier to see my psych says it to me only i aint sure
  17. Smilie46

    Smilie46 Well-Known Member

    Thanks jtelbel & Loopy,

    No I don't know any grounding skills and the pyscologist has been getting me to do paced breathing.

    I could have used something last night as I got upset about one thing and ended up very upset for about 4 hours............until I fell asleep.

    Take Care

  18. K.O.

    K.O. Member

    I hope you,re really better.
    I have fear to approach other people, cause many hurt me. I understand what feel when some abuse you, and when some you loves die, and many others here understand you too.
    I should like to say some can help you, but i know that when someone feel so, this is very difficult.
    Ihope you continue to better¿?
  19. Smilie46

    Smilie46 Well-Known Member

    Thank you I hope all is well with you
  20. Smilie46

    Smilie46 Well-Known Member

    Does anyone know the expression................all dressed up with nowhere to go!

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