Hi, Smilie. I just saw your most recent post now. I have felt shy, awkward, and lonely. I've always needed a bit of "exposure" to people a few times before I feel comfortable. Haven't felt "ashamed" - more like annoyed with myself for being shy.
Do you have social activities in real life that you are comfortable with? Maybe a few friends that you talk to? I joined some volunteer groups and took some classes so I'd meet people. It helped to have a sort of regular contact with the same people. The volunteer activity and classes gave us things in common which helped ease my awkwardness. I hope you're doing all right these days. :hug: