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Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Brighid Moon, Jun 25, 2015.

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  1. Brighid Moon

    Brighid Moon Member & Antiquities Friend

    As a highly sensitive person, I find myself in emotional and physical pain over certain things, whether they be empathetic or sympathetic. After a time of feeling the pain and confusion, of trying to make sense of it (bad behaviour/thought processes of others) and of not understanding why others don't feel these things (or see the issues involved around them) I find myself being angry and even hateful towards them. This, in turn, causes me to be angry and to even hate myself for those thoughts and feelings, which are antithetic to me. It's a terrible merry-go-round. I find myself turning into the person that I dislike, out of frustration. These feelings of empathy and sympathy I can't just turn off. I've tried. And I try intellectualizing it, or using various techniques such as trying to place myself in other people's shoes and think from their point of view (speaking of hateful people, here) as to why they are unable to see or feel how their behaviour hurts others, or perhaps (my therapist is good with this one) thinking "Yes, they are hateful (or hurtful or whatever), AND they're also ... [insert good quality here].". But I can't seem to do it. I simply can not wrap my head around their hatred, and so I begin hating them, and then the merry-go-round starts up. Most often it isn't even things that happen to me that sets me off on this, but things which happen to others, hence the HSP title.

  2. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    It does not sound so much like your sensitivity or sympathy for things is an issue to me, where you describe the pain, stress , frustration is coming from is not your sensitivity or feelings, but because others do not agree with your views?

    While I am unsure what "things" you are referring to so really can't say, if the frustration, pain, and stress is coming from your personal beliefs being different than some people or matters of opinion being defined "bad thought processes" then it is less about being highly sensitive or working on sensitivity and more of acceptance of other peoples right to have a varying opinion from your own. It could come across potentially as being very judgmental if simply because somebody does not share your opinion or belief that they suffer from "bad thought processes" and "not understanding why they feel //differently about something// than you?

    I could be way off as I have no idea if things is in general you are referring to, or specific acts that would be clearly wrong (for example murder is wrong in most any opinion or view- things like gay rights, political views, or religions are equally classified in these sort of categories often), so apologize if I am misunderstanding.
  3. Brighid Moon

    Brighid Moon Member & Antiquities Friend

    Things that hurt other people. Surely abuse and rape and so forth, but also things that support the harm of others, and some of that is political. So when I hear people making excuses for, say, a man who goes in and shoots nine people due to racism, I get upset. I can't think straight, and I can't find a middle ground. When I hear enough of it I feel hateful towards the types of people who would do such a thing. Then I find myself worried that my hatred will turn me into someone like them. Things that get me going are racism, sexism, any type of abuse, etc. I can't find a middle ground. I can't not see black/white, and I can't not hate. That worries me.

    Anyway sorry, n/m.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 26, 2015
  4. caspar

    caspar Well-Known Member

    Hello, fellow HSP here. I am sorry for the anguish you are feeling, it sounds really hard. I can relate to a lot of what you say. I too find it hard to 'turn off', and to reason myself out of feelings things. I often say that to people, 'I can't turn my feelings off like a tap,' and 'I've tried to reason myself out of it but I just can't.' Anger and hate are emotions I find completely overwhelming, and often I feel them for people too.

    One thing I have found helpful is mindfullness, but not the shallow way it is often taught (shallow imo). I would recommend reading or watching Eckhart Tolle and the book 'Awareness' by Anthony de Mello. They both have given me a new perspective on feelings and thoughts I have. I can now sort of momentarily detach myself from most feelings, like anger or anxiety. I call it 'taking a step back'. Like if I am angry at someone about something trivial, I 'take a step back' and say ok, I am angry, is about what they're doing or is there something going on within me to illicit this reaction? A good way to start with this is labelling your emotion, just say to yourself, 'this is anger' or whatever, and this in itself gives you a momentary detachment, it's like taking a breath of air.

    To be honest, how you describe yourself strongly feeling the injustices of the world is a good trait in my opinion, most people aren't as caring. But it doesn't have to be so overwhelming for you. I hope this makes sense!
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