hug me!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by sihuskyzoi, Oct 14, 2012.

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  1. sihuskyzoi

    sihuskyzoi Well-Known Member

    So I grew up in a family that never touched, never hugged, never said I love you, never showed affection of any kind. So now I'm a 38 year old adult who needs constant reassurance that I'm valued and loved. That's a lot for most friends... And when I'm this depressed... I need hugs, but can't seem to accept them unless I'm pretty intoxicated. I shy away until then. Except today is that day where I've been drunk all weekend. In bed all day. Barely motivated myself to get out of bed and desperately just need a hug. A held hug, ya know. And I have no idea how to seek that comfort.
  2. frantic

    frantic Well-Known Member

    i'm right there with you. my famkily was the same way. no i love you's. evver. my mom once said, when i was older, that she had never loved anyone in her life. sounds like that includes me.

    like you, i crave touch, hugs, something. but then when that actually happens, i pull away.

  3. sihuskyzoi

    sihuskyzoi Well-Known Member

    Thank you for that... I know people like me are out there, but never hear that. It helps to know I'm not alone... Or completely crazy :). Hugs back at ya...
  4. frantic

    frantic Well-Known Member

    the difficult thing is doing it differentlhy with my kids. my little guy is a cuddler, so i don't have to worry about him, he just comes and snuggles into my arms. but the older one is more reserved. he has never been a cuddler, not even as a little baby. i need to remind myself to hug him too, and show affection, and tell him i love him. that is just something that doesn't come naturallhy to me.

    luckily i enjoy hugging my kids. it's pretty much the only hugs/physical affection that doesn't make me cringe.

    what happens with animals for you? i find it much easier to show affection to animals, like hugging my dog. i don't[ know why. maybe because they don't hug back? i don't know.
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hugs to you hun many of them ok for all the times you did get one i too come from a family that did not show emotion and till this day i really don't want the hugs but i know it gets hard when you are low and feeling alone
  6. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    That sounds like me...I never felt love, so I guess I don't really know how to accept affectionate feelings. But you deserve to be loved, and you shouldn't shy away from the people who care. Big hugs to you!
  7. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    I know it's not nearly the same, but sending some :hug:s your way.
  8. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Same here, my entire family are non touchy feely people.
    As a child all my hugs were with my pets, but I never hugged people, learnt behaviour I guess :unsure:
    Happily I adored my son on sight and he was very tactile, hugging him was as natural to me as breathing :smile:
    Weird thing is, now he is a non touchy person.
  9. sihuskyzoi

    sihuskyzoi Well-Known Member

    I went to my friends house tonight. To soothe myself. Before I left she asked if I was "huggable tonight". This is after I've shrunk away from her a dozen times. It was perfectly asked... and I said yes. And it helped :). Thank you all.... for the encouragement. I needed it today :)
  10. Samara

    Samara Account Closed

    Gave me an idea for a thread... in the sort of fun area of the forum... a "Hug me" thread... where people could do just as this thread is doing... explain maybe a bit about why they might just need a hug... and then people come in and give a little :hug:

    Maybe such a thread exists already... but if not... Sihuskyzoi maybe you could do the honors? Or maybe this thread could be the go-to place for that? :)
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