human cruelty... and loneliness...

Discussion in 'Soap Box' started by The Scream, Sep 19, 2009.

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  1. The Scream

    The Scream Well-Known Member

    human cruelty, leading to loneliness... it comes from fear of being turned down, doesn't it?

    debate!

    i say yes, if you're insecure about yourself, and you don't like yourself, etc, it keeps you a certain distance away from people, and when someone tries to get close, you turn them down, 'cause you're afraid they will think the same way about you as you do about yourself...
     
  2. mike25

    mike25 Well-Known Member

    Human cruelty is borne of ignorance or psychopathy. We live in a fallen world & it's difficult to accept.
     
  3. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    Human cruelty leads to solitude. Desire leads to loneliness.
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    human cruelty just teaches you not to trust anyone thus loneliness because no way are you ever going to let someone hurt you again.
     
  5. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    I agree :)
    There are good people out there too though. ...wish I could find them.
     
  6. The Scream

    The Scream Well-Known Member

    i get the first part but, how does desire lead to loneliness?
     
  7. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    Well, I can only speak for my own situation, but I found that loneliness was caused by certain desires such as wanting to fit in, wanting to be like others, wanting to be loved, wanting to be understood etc.

    Desires can be good, such as wanting to see somebody else being happy, but they can also be painful. So I think we also need solitude, which I think is more detached and is more about trying to understand and accept the way things are.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 20, 2009
  8. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    The older I get, the less I relate to people. At the workplace all they wanna know is, What was last night's score. What bores.
     
  9. bhawk

    bhawk Well-Known Member

    if you look into experiments like the stanford prison experiment you will see there is evidence that human cruelty/evil is merely a construct of the system we are in, not due to any "bad apples" rather its a case of the "bad barrel"
    the experiment concluded with what is now known as the lucifer effect.
    Humans are nothing more than clever apes, we react. We rarely act.
    If we remove ourselves from the system we are in and create a "new" beneficial system we can put ourselves in power and create the life we wish for.
    Now this is easy to say yet i can not seem to accomplish it myself, due to many constraints. It works in theory and in practice though.....
     
  10. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    I've often said to people (when they say don't let it get to you), "You've only got to show the whip to a beaten dog."

    I agree that trauma has an effect of taking something out of you. When there are multiple traumas the thought process changes as well.

    In some areas of life, I don't risk rejection, because I can't bear it. In other areas, I'm able to cope because I don't know the other people nor they me so any stupid comment they make is a reflection on them, not me.
     
  11. ashes_away

    ashes_away Well-Known Member

    some people seem more susceptible to cruelty than others...or have had more experience with it and that has led them to isolation.A combination of hyper sensitivity and bad luck seems to result in isolation.I think of a chicken coop.When one chicken becomes weak,the other chickens will gang up on it and literally peck it to death.I witnessed this at a neighbor's coop as a child,and was horrified.The explanation saddened me.
    I believe for most,loneliness is a result of a lifetime of insecurity-maybe they were picked on as a child,maybe they had a string of bad circumstances,abuse and trauma.They say these experiences build character but the truth is,a lot of people-myself included-build walls instead.
     
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