I want What a child wants. To have someone pick me up and love me And tell me I will never feel pain again. I have fallen With a lack of grace that is unsurprising And torn my poor body And made an utter mess of everything But there is no one here Who could Or would wish to Lift my oh-so-solid form And put a band-aid to my shattered reality. I feel so small So tired So empty and used. I want so desperately. So many things. For someone to gather me up And hold me together. For someone to draw me in And tell me, And for once have it be more Than a lie told to a toddler, That everything will be alright. For once I want someone to take me up Soothe the shaking of the earth And protect me. I cannot be strong. I want it to be okay to be weak. If only I could fail And not be made to feel Like it was the end of the world Or an unforgivable sin. If only I could come to terms With my useless, restless Feckless humanity. Some time ago It struck me That embroiled in my fear I would rather die than fail again And that That just isn’t right. There should be some allowance in my life For human breakdown. I am not a machine. Something must be done. Because if I fall again I think I might not be getting back up.