I don't know what I was thinking, but I ended up self harming today. Not cutting though, I don't think I'd ever do that. I've been through so much physical pain already, my tolerance is extremely high. And I somehow ended up with deep bruises and a lot of regret today. I don't know why I did it, and I'm scared I'll do it again. I guess maybe because it's the only pain I can control. I don't want it to get worse. How do you hold back?