Hurt myself for the first time

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by GoldenRoses, Dec 24, 2015.

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  1. GoldenRoses

    GoldenRoses Active Member

    I don't know what I was thinking, but I ended up self harming today. Not cutting though, I don't think I'd ever do that.

    I've been through so much physical pain already, my tolerance is extremely high. And I somehow ended up with deep bruises and a lot of regret today.

    I don't know why I did it, and I'm scared I'll do it again. I guess maybe because it's the only pain I can control.

    I don't want it to get worse. How do you hold back?
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi hun, I'm sorry you felt so bad that you felt the need to cut,did something trigger it?
    Are you still getting the daily migraines? You are not alone in this. Hugs (hugs)
  3. GoldenRoses

    GoldenRoses Active Member

    I didn't cut, just made some bruises. I've been frustrated and sad about a lot of things and I think it might have been a subconscious reaction. I'm just really scared it will turn into something worse..

    The migraines aren't as severe, but I still have daily headaches.
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Oh you didn't cut, sorry I misread your post, was very tired when replying. You are STRONG. Anyone that can cope with pain every single day must be strong. I hope you are feeling a bit better today pet.
  5. Purple_Thorn

    Purple_Thorn Well-Known Member

    I live with daily migraines and headaches. Wake up with them actually. First, I would talk to a doctor about it. It's really bad and they can give you some real pain medication just for migraines. I get the big pain tolerance too, when you live with pain basically 24/7, new pain is just something new, but not necessarily bad.
    If you know what triggered you, then you can work on that, the feelings you had, what was happening, how you physically felt. Personally, when I start getting triggered I feel sick to my stomach, get really mad, and my hands get really fidgety. So I pull out things I have that keep my hands busy while I basically ride the urge. If you can pinpoint some of that and have a safety plan for when you are feeling an urge, and a simple one, then maybe that can help.
    It's always scary wondering if you'll ever hurt yourself again. But remember, you don't have to just because you have once. On the flip side, if you do, you aren't doing anything wrong, just using a coping skill for life, one that is admittedly harmful, but you just keep trying.
    I believe in you. I think you can do this. I really do.
  6. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Alumni

    I used to go for months with almost daily migraines. Would wake up with them. Doc called them cluster headaches. I think I just out grew them. I only get them one in a while now. If I catch them VERY early, I find an ice pack helps. You might want to try that if you haven't already.
  7. True-Lee

    True-Lee Well-Known Member

    Golden,I am sorry that you have felt that bad, just because you self harmed once does not mean you will do it again, Remember how you felt after you realized what you were doing, hold onto that thought in case you do ever think about self harming yourself again, Try talking to some one or set up a person that you can talk to in case you ever feel like that again, If you ever self harm again please don't hesitate to talk to someone here, you know that we will not judge you, we are here for you to help and support you deal and get through this rough time in your life. You know that you have people here that care about you and are willing to help when you need it, call them when you are feeling down or upset! we would prefer you do that instead of harming or even just dealing with a bad day or time by yourself! Please Stay Safe and Please be gentle to yourself! You are important, never forget that.
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