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Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by black_rose_13, Apr 19, 2007.

  1. It hurts that you've moved on
    It hurts not to be invited out with you
    It hurts that you have better friends
    It hurts when you call me strong
    when im not
    It hurts that your happy
    It hurts that your getting on with life
    It hurts that i'm stuck
    It hurts that things wont ever change
    they really wont
    It hurts to smile
    It hurts to laugh
    It hurts to pretend
    It hurts to cry
    i am weak
    It hurts that i feel so alone
    It hurts that i dont no how much longer i can do this
    It hurts to feel this ugly
    when its true
    It hurts that i'm not normal
    It hurts that i dont have many friends
    It hurts that people hate me
    It hurts that people think im crazy
    when im not
    It hurts that i wont amount to anything
    It hurts that everyones so clever
    It hurts that im so scared all the time
    It hurts that i cant take it
    It hurts that they whisper
    It hurts that they laugh
    It hurts that i lie
    but i have to
    It hurts that im not perfect
    It hurts that im not what you want
    It hurts the way you talk to me
    It hurts when you shout
    but i caused this
    It hurts that im terrified of what i see
    It hurts that you say its 'real to me'
    It hurts that people pretend
    It hurts that you walk around eggshells around me
    It hurts that i want to hurt myself all the time
    It hurts that i cant sleep
    It hurts that i hurt.

    so much

    It all hurts.

    I hurt.

    i dont no why or how i managed to type all of that. sorry. :cry:
  2. Deathly Strike

    Deathly Strike Well-Known Member

    Aww, hun.

  3. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    You dont always need to be strong even if someone sees you as it. People hurt and people break, others might see you as strong because you keep living through the pain and hurt. Even if you dont see it others do.

    I hate the cliche of you are young..but you are young you will find happiness you just have to fight for it and even though things seem like they won't change, like there's no point, you can't always know what tomorrow brings.

    I know the pretend game too well, you put on a mask and pretend you are happy. The laughing and the smiling gets so old and so tiring. Sometimes it's best not to be that masked person, let your guard down and let people see who you are..even if it isn't the prettiest in the world.

    Perfection..overrated and not there..there's no such thing as perfection just like there is no such thing as normal. If perfection existed than this world wouldn't be in such turmoil. I think you are beautiful and perfect just teh way you are even with flaws and even with problems YOU ARE PERFECT. As for the way people talk to me dont let them talk to you that way. You control who does what to you..dont let them treat yout hat way.
  4. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Sorry, but you are strong, it is just inside that you don't feel strong.
    That's good, it means that you want that happiness. If you didn't want it, it wouldn't bother you if others were happy. It's a good thing that it hurts honey. But you can fight for that happiness.
    When anyone gets seriously ill they need to put their life on hold, that's ok. It will start to progress again.
    Can you predict the future? You might not see hope, but that doesn't mean you can predict the future, it means that you can't see anything good in the future, but that does not mean it will happen. It is your opinion that it won't get better, but some people think it will, otherwise they wouldn't still be trying to help you, they would have written you off, like I was.
    :hug: I know this feeling so well. I have no words, but try to think about the thigns that don't hurt, like playing with your buns.
    You might feel alone, physically you might be alone, but you know I'm here, you are not alone emotionally.
    Just take each day as it comes. Focus on manageable amounts.
    Remember that you probably perceive yourself to be ugly when you aren't. And also remember that you have a beautiful personality.
    No one is 'normal' honey. If you could name the things you want to be, or don't want to be, what would they be?
    Do you think they hate you? Or do they actually hate you? Remember that your perception might not be totally accurate because you feel so vile.
    You are right, you are not crazy, you are ill and that is So different.
    You can be something, you ARE something. You can achieve what you want in life, but you will have to fight hard for it.
    You are so clever. You are incredibly intelligent, sensitive, caring.
    :hug: I know honey. It is scary, I'm sorry you feel scared all the time.
    This is all part of your illness honey and it won't always be like that.
    No one is perfect darling. No one in the world. The point is that you are you and that is a beautiful person.
    No you didn't, your illness caused that.
    I know I have done this, and I'm sorry if it hurt you.

    I bet it does hurt, all of it hurts. You are in so much pain at the moment honey. I know that you don't want to hear this, but if you make use of the therapy, that pain could ease.

    Hang in there darling
  5. Kanani, Scum, thankyou both so much for those replies. it means a great deal to me. so much. :hug: i dont no what else to say, just thanks.
  6. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member