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Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by WantToChin, Jun 22, 2007.

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  1. WantToChin

    WantToChin Guest

    I guess they really are stupid. :dunno: They hurt me so much with that one remark. ONE single remark and it makes me dream the most horrible things :sad:

    Eversince that comment has been made I think about it daily. I am hurt. Very hurt. Not a single day goes by anymore without me hating myself with such passion. Someone else would hate them if they were in my shoes, but no. I don't. I don't hate them. I can't. Because they were right. Thats the worst part of it all. I did it. He was right. I feel horrible for it. I feel like a failure. I hate myself for doing that. He was fucking right!

    I already hated myself immensely, but it's only grown worse and the more I think of that one comment, the worse my self-hate gets. I HATE MYSELF!

    How can I let that one comment get to me like that? It was one comment from one person who makes awful comments to more people, from one person who hits on every girl they see, yet that comment makes me have nightmares, makes me cry at night, makes me feel shit, makes me feel worthless, makes me feel like... I cant even think of a word to describe how horrible I feel... :cry:

    But oh well, I deserve it all, its my own fucking fault. He was right.
  2. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    He was not right, you're a better person than you think you are. And I wish you could see what everyone else does.
  3. WantToChin

    WantToChin Guest

    Okay nevermind, would a moderator please be so kind to delete this thread, or at least edit the above post to an empty post?

    That'd be appreciated muchly.
  4. WantToChin

    WantToChin Guest

    I don't mean That_One_Girl's post, but my own post, the first one in this thread.

    That_One_Girl, thanks for your kindness, but you don't see the truth. Sorry :sad:
  5. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    hun, you deserve happiness and not for people to make you feel like this. Know that i am here to takl if you need. i won't be around alot but if you need to talk drop me a line. :hug:
  6. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Honestly I could take a baseball bat to his knees for that bloody comment :mad:
    and yes I know exactly who this is!!!
    You should be angry, it was a totally outrageous, spiteful, mean and contemptuous thing to say:mad:
    Could you try telling counsellor/therapist about it hun..maybe getting this out and aired will help you put it behind you. :hug:
  7. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    *helps Terry with the baseball bat to the knees*

    I know who this is aswell and i know its hard to not let that comment get to you but please try your best. I would follow Terry's advice and tell the therapist hun. Am here if u need to talk :hug:
  8. WantToChin

    WantToChin Guest

    Thank you all for your kindness, but don't waste your time please. I really do not deserve it and I should've thought before I posted. I shouldn't have posted at all. I shouldn't be on this site anymore at all.
    Since everyone already seems to know who I am. fuck anonymity for me then lol. :dry: What I want to say is I shouldn't be on this site anymore at all. I am on leave but yet I keep coming here daily :dry: I don't deserve to come here though. I don't deserve support. Heck I don't even deserve therapy. Ha. Shouldn't have told my therapist that last bit though :dry: But meh, like I care anymore. lol

    Anyways, please don't waste any more time on replying to this, or any of my threads for that matter..
    Also don't be upset if you see you're not on my contacts list anymore. I didn't block you, but I did delete everyone off my MSN contacts list. Some people might know I already did that a while ago, but then I made it into a habit to add the people who talked to me back. I deleted all of them again too. And won't be adding anyone back.
    I'm sorry for letting y'all down like this. I hate losing friendships, but I didn't even deserve these friendships in the first place, so I guess it's about going back to what I deserve. Be angry at me for it, it'd serve me right.
    But most of all, don't be sad. If you'd knew some of the things I know,you'd resent me and would regret the fact you ever even said a word to me.

    The saying "you get what you deserve" is bullshit in my opinion, but I'm going to make it true for me. I'm going to make me get what I deserve.

    I'm sorry I couldn't be the support I wanted to be, to all of you. I'm sorry I've turned out to be nothing but a burden, annoyance, waste of time. I didn't mean to do any harm or waste any time.
    I always knew I didn't deserve much. Eversince that day I know I don't deserve much. But... I just never knew exactly HOW little I really deserve. If I'd known, I would've kept me from registering at this site. I'm so sorry.
    Now I know what my worth is.. Now I can do something about it. Now I can make life to getting what I deserve.

    I'm sorry for entering anyone's heart and mind, I'm sorry for wasting your time, and I'm glad for those who don't know me.

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