I'm hurting pretty bad today. I feel like an outcast freak of society who is doomed to a life of mediocrity and frustration. I'm sick of being powerless to change anything in my life. I'm sick of always living on the edge of disaster. I'm sick of always hurting. And that's when it seems SOOOOOOO much easier to just pull the plug. A lesson I learned in my childhood from playing way too many video games .. if a game is so hard that it fucks up my mood, better to just turn off the game. So I want to turn off the game of life. It's frustrating. I'm not getting anywhere with it. I'm stuck. I'd rather just end it.