It has been awhile since I have been on here and many things have happened that are good. I got married at the end of may of this year. I moved to a different town a little further out of my comfort zone and I am having to cope with finding new friends to hang with. I also am having a rough time that is effecting my marriage from my past, things are hitting me like a brick and causing me to break down and head toward a meltdown. i have not injured myself yet. But my hubby is afraid I am hurt myself eve if I do not mean it yet. I can't see a counselor till they give me medical clearance that my seizures are not happening again. My past abuse from my mother is hitting me so hard I have been so upset that I have almost hyperventilated and passed out. My husband has been there many times to calm me down, but he may be leaving on a job for a month. I am scared to death, I miss my friends, family and my pets. I do get to see Sarah once in awhile and she has been kind enough to keep my cats for me since I am not allowed to have any animals at the apt we rent. I think that is a big factor that is playing in this situtation for ever since I can remember I have had a pet with me and it was there to comfort me. Now I am alone by myself, when my husband is not home. I have not been sleeping well either and it is effecting me really badly. I do not know what to do, except for to curl up in corner and cry.