I'm hurting right now incredibly and I feel completely alone. I don't have anyone I can cry or vent to and the one person who supposedly is there for me (mother ) and says she's the only person who cares about me says I don't get enough attention and any problem I do have is a figment of my imagination.then can't figure out why I am so hesitant to have anything to do with her. She got me a cat for Christmas a few weeks ago to help lift my depression who wont have anything to with her and now she's claimed him as his. Heaven forbid we have any difference of opinion or methods of doing anything since that's an automatic blatant fight in her mind and no convincing her otherwise. Then tonight she told me I have absolutely no choice at all but to be on the phone begging a very emotionally and verbally abusive family member I just left to take me back. What's really messed up is that I'm not some teenager, I'm an adult who has had a bad start in life (father who raised me scarred me badly emotionally so its hard to trust) and was never allowed to be around my mother until I found her just recently. It's hard for me to get excited about Christmas because we have different work schedules and I hardly see her which she says there is no excuse for. I want to improve things with her but I can't get any answer out of her other than I have to go back to the imaginary abuse the second she says go. I'm not suicidal but it's looking like an option if the abusive past is what I have to go back to. Unfortunately I don't have friends or family anywhere I can go to instead,nor much money beyond my measly 2hr/day job 5 days/week.