Hurting manner may change, problem does not

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by bobo, Dec 22, 2007.

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  1. bobo

    bobo Member

    I have been cutting for the last seven years when I was raped. I have stopped for bits of time but end up going back. Its hard and it leaves scars that I have to explain away. Just the last couple days I ran upon something that although it is not new it is for me. I ran into someone on line here who burns themselves. I was not sure how I could pull that off but soon found it is easier, less mess, can hide better and gives me quicker pain that seems to satisfy the need to punish myself for the assult that I appear to be seeking.

    Please understand I do not condone this or any self harm for anyone. I am just expressing what I am going through and how the pain I am in continues to seek methods of dealing with my warped mind. The problem is not changing, only the way I face it is so I am not getting better and never will.
  2. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    I'm sorry you have gone to a further step of self harm. You say you have to explain away the cuts but how do you explain away the burns if they see them?? It's never an answer and I can't say I condone or not b/c I cut so it'd be hypocritical of me to judge. I hope you find solace and peace in some form other than cutting or burning. :hug: stay safe
  3. geolab101

    geolab101 Well-Known Member

    i'm so sorry you are in such pain that you feel you need to self harm. i can relate to this feeling.

    perhaps getting a counsellor in on the situation could be helpful.
  4. Smashed__

    Smashed__ Well-Known Member

    I don't cut for two reasons, the hiding and mess. Asphxia or stangulation is my way, its fast, no mess and the only signs are petechial hemmoraging(teeny red dots) and either bruising or a red marks around your neck for a bit.

    I am ashamed and don't wish anyone to self harm, but I know many do.
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