hurting myself again

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by captain2004, Jul 30, 2008.

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  1. captain2004

    captain2004 New Member

    sorry to lay my problems on everyone. just have to get this off my chest.

    i've started to want to hurt myself again. I tear my toenails off until they're past the quick and bleeding, and I've started scratching at myself with a knife again. I feel so worthless and lazy and hopeless. Its like if I do it then I'm punishing myself for all the bad things I do, and maybe I'll stop being so bad.

    The funny thing is I'm doing ok- 5th year PhD student working on my first publication with a wedding coming up in ~5 months. just overweight and the 2nd least productive member of my lab. Just can't get over the shame of how wimpy and spineless I am.

    Its ok if no one responds. Telling this to the wider community might help.
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    sorry to read you are hurting yourself again. sounds like you are feeling overwhelmed and turning to an old habit. i hope you know this, at some level, but you are not worthless. far from it. you are just juggling alot of things right now. do you have a counsellor to talk to? i ask because i used to call myself the same names and it took some time with a good therapist to get to the bottom of my self-hatred. it was scary at first but well worth it.

    congrats on the wedding!
  3. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear of your struggle but very well done for posting so honestly that in itself may be a starting point i know for me SF has shown me that i can post here and i will receive replies from people that want to help but that also can relate to the feelings within, many similar to yours, please keep coming back and posting im sure it will help, look forward to seeing you again

  4. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Your not worthless. Concentrate on your strong points, like your academic achievements and the wedding instead of focusing on wanting to hurt yourself.
  5. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Try to distract yourself when you feel like hurting yourself hun. You can rise above this. you are not worthelss, your academic achievements alone show this.. you can make it throug
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