Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by swimmergirl, Feb 19, 2010.
just to see if i can do it. sick of wondering.
it's bad enough we let others hurt us
do we really have to be our own worst enemies as well?
don't we already have enough pain in our lives?
dammit girl we both deserve better than this
hang in there
it makes the pain stop. And, nothing I can do to myself will ever be as bad as what he did to me, nothing. He should have killed me when he had the chance, he should have just done it, then I would not be in this place, this dark, horrible place.
i'll beat the crap out of him if it wiil help (seriously, i know people)
don't continue to let him hurt you - you're stronger than that
i want you to visualize for me
picture a man - late 20's, 6', dark hair, green eyes, devastatingly handsome
well - that's not me, just wanted you to see something nice first - i'll start again
picture a man - early 50's, 5' 10, 165, blonde gone to gray, glasses (that's better)
he's standing in front of you with his arms wide open waiting to offer a hug - to hold you, stroke your hair, and shield you from the pain if only for a little while - no judgement, no conditions, no strings - just acceptance and the desire to make you feel better
that is what i want you to think about everytime you feel bad or want to hurt yourself
hold on tight
we won't let go
lots of hugs!!
I understand the need to experiment. Just be VERY careful. It is SOOOOO easy to become addicted to it. If you let it go too far, you will fall into a downward spiral that seems to have no escape. That is the despair. Just be very careful. I am - we all are - here for you
thanks for the responses, i am losing my fucking mind, i cut my wrist, it fucking hurt like hell, in a way it is soothing to see the pain I feel inside on the outside. weird, I know. I just want to feel better, getting desperate.
thanks for the hugs.
And, he, being my father, is not hurting me anymore, I just live with horrible memories that dont want to go away now, and hate myself for something he did and wasnt my fault.
it's a bitch when the mind knows one thing and the heart another
wish i could get you to accept in your heart what you already know - it wasn't your fault
i know it wasnt, thats why my piece of shit father should be the one wanting to die, not me, but no, it doesnt work like that, i live with the flashbacks, the memories and all the nightmares, he doesnt.
god, just kill me now.
i understand and im sorry. PLEASE try to get through the night. I know it hurts, but I truely do want to help you...and to do that, we need to talk to you more...we ALL need to talk to you...but we cannot do that if you are not here.
couldn't have said it better myself
for what it matters, you're in my heart
By hurting you, do you mean physically abusive? Because we're on the same level if so. Respond to me, we can talk about it.
yes, i am hurting myself physically, i am cutting into my wrist because right now it helps me get through the night.
"I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. "