Hurting so much

[lost soul]

Hello

I am very new here so please excuse me if I am doing this wrong.

I am hurting physically and mentally. A guy I did voluntary work with a while ago raped me, when I say a while ago, I mean more like 12 years ago. The problem is he has suddenly just bumped into me on the street and grabbed me, this was 3 weeks ago and he has raqped me about 6 times in that time. I really darent go to the police as he does it at knife point and said if he saw the police at my house he would kill me, and if the police was to get hold of him he would get his mates after me. He has also beaten my torso, he did this area so no-one could see the brusing

I am so scared, I have only told a rape counsellor, but I felt awful after speaking with her, I felt like it was all my fault and that I didn't and dont do enough to help me out of the situation. I daren't tell anyone else, I am so scared.

I am so sorry for putting it all down here.
Thanks for listening

 

[helena]

that's so terrible, lost soul, I understand you're so scared. I think you should keep talking to that counselor, as it's not your fault it isn't believe me, and something has to be done about it. It shouldn't have happen and it must never happen again, so something has to be done. I should say you have to tell the police though I know how scared you are, but you neeed to be protected from such a predator!
Don't be sorry for putting it here, that's what this place is for, it offers you the chance to at least get it off your chest and hopefully get some advice and support, you deserve every bit of that, it's not fair that you have to go thorugh what you've been through and feeling scared .
Take care of you,
:hug:
helena

 

[Darken]

Thats horrible, im sorry. I would cut that fuckers throat if I ever met him. You should go to the police hes just trying to scare you, If you think he really has a friend who will attack you go stay with your grandparents or a friend for a few days.

 

[lost soul]

Thankyou for your replies, they mean so much. I havent spoken to anyone but the counsellor. I cant see her again, she was nasty, she pushed too much too.

I dont have anywhere else to go. In my state of depression I managed to push all my friends away and I dont have any grandparents. I darent tell my own parents as they wouldnt react well and I dont want to hurt them. It is also hard as I have 3 children.

Thankyou for listening, I just feel crap

 

[immure]

it will be very hard but i suggest have ur kids bags packed so the next time u go imediately to the hospital so u can get good evidence. even purchase a voice recorder that records when there r voices and is sensitive. then get ur ass in a safe house till he is arrested. for u r probably totally right and won t be safe at home. don t worry about his mates 4 it seems like a weak threat i mean how many guys would abuse a women there friend told them to who has his ass in jail. do it before he gets to ur kids.