Hurting will never end

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by meme333, Oct 3, 2011.

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  1. meme333

    meme333 Well-Known Member

    So I have nobody because I was an abused kid.
    Nobody cared to stop anything
    I'm nobody still.

    Therapy is too hard.
    I don't think I can do it anymore.

    Not sure what I'm looking to say here tonight.

    I'm just sad. Two hour therapy session.
    I'm tired.

    Do I just give up?
    What are my options?
     
  2. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Therapy can be really draining. I understand. :hug: You're not nobody to us here.
     
  3. meme333

    meme333 Well-Known Member

    Beyond draining but ya...
    I feel like I'm getting hurt over and over yet it helps in other ways
    but I"m exhausted.
    My therapist would be upset if she knew I phrased it that way because it's not supposed to hurt or be harmful but I come away so tired and feeling like I"ve been through so much.
    And I come home to be by myself. There is no comfort...nothing.
    I really want to give up right now.
    I don't want to hurt anybody.
    She spends more than the hour session with me when things are rough.
    i don't know why.
    I wouldn't want to hurt her. But I am just a client and I'm sure she'd see it that way and would be fine.
     
  4. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    I think she might understand that therapy can be draining, but I don't know either. One time, one of my old therapists spent two sessions with me when I was only supposed to be there for one session. He didn't charge me extra. Sometimes, it happens if you're in a really dark place, I guess. Hugs...Alex
     
  5. Jackie's Strength

    Jackie's Strength Staff Alumni

    First of all, I want to give you a big fat bear hug, because you deserve it!
    I know firsthand how very draining therapy sessions can be... even when they're "good"!
    I've heard and have been told by my therapist that clients frequently feel dysregulated after sessions. I think sometimes it's easy to forget how hard and how much work therapy can be. In fact, if you always felt okay, that would be a pretty sure sign that you're not working on what you really need to! That said, therapy should progress at a pace that the client can handle. So, while it's normal to feel a certain level of dysregulation following a therapy session, it should be a level that you can deal with. So, if you find yourself feeling too dysregulated after sessions, I suggest mentioning this to your therapist. She should take this as an indication to proceed more slowly with the therapy. If not, please do not hesitate to let her know that this is something that you feel would be helpful.

    Please take good care of yourself. I find that reminding myself before a therapy session how I'm likely to feel after helps me cope afterwards, since I'm more prepared for the feelings that arise. Also, try to give yourself a break the evening after a session. Just relax, do something you enjoy, and get a good night's rest. You deserve it after all that hard work!

    All the best.
     
  6. meme333

    meme333 Well-Known Member

    Thank you ;)

    I'm trying so hard but it is exhausting.
    I just don't know if it's a "normal" exhausting or if I do need to ask her to slow things down.
    I'm still tired. I felt just beaten down last night and still feel it this morning.

    I don't want to have to go through all the therapy but it's not like I can just talk to anyone about it and who else would deal with me and all the flashbacks and memories.

    I can't stand it.

    But thank you for your words..both of you and especially the hug.
    That would feel so good right now :(
     
  7. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    :arms: :hug: :hug:
     
  8. Jackie's Strength

    Jackie's Strength Staff Alumni

    The physical and mental exhaustion carries on into the next day for me too. Just be good to you.
    I think it would be a good idea to discuss how you feel with your therapist. Then the two of you can experiment and work out what's best.
    Best of luck.
     
  9. meme333

    meme333 Well-Known Member

    Nice to know it's not just me although I am sorry you experience this as well.

    I did call my therapist and leave a message...first to say thank you for her time as she does take the time for me and it is very appreciated.
    I also told her that I didn't know if I had to slow down or if this was just part of it all. She said I was the best judge and we can discuss it more.
    I don't know. I guess I don't need to slow down.
    She always says in times like this to be very kind to myself.
    I have to learn how to do that.
    I've tried to rest today but still tired. Hopefully tomorrow I'll be better.

    Thanks again for the hugs and kind word.
    You guys are great.

    Hugs back btw
     
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