Hurting

Discussion in 'Domestic Abuse' started by 04jwilliams, May 28, 2007.

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  1. 04jwilliams

    04jwilliams Active Member

    hi, i was a member here and havent been online for about a year or something! basicaly i was and stil am physically and mostly emotionally abused by my step dad! he drinks heavily and then comes back and gets in2 physical arguements with my mum then starts to take things out on me! but while my mum nd him r basically killing each other i'm left 2 look after my 7yr old sister who gets so frightened! this has been going on for about 6yrs now and about 3yrs ago i was assulted by my step dad and social services got involved and i was put on the child protection register but i was removed nearly 2 yrs ago now because they thought i was ubder no more harm and now i dnt see them! last year wen things got realli bad i self harmed for a while but then stopped beacuse i got help from teachers but i'm now left with scars all ova my arm which stil havent gone so ppl keep wonderin wat they r from! and also recently things have been worse at home again and i realli just feel like i need 2 cut again and just want 2 runaway but i no tht i cnt because of ma little sister. i'm realli hurting inside and yet again i dnt know what to do because apart from telling my friends who dnt really understand i have no one 2 talk 2! plz help! xx
     
  2. Tara

    Tara Guest

    :hug: you can talk to us :D

    theres a lot of people on here who are/have gone/going through similar situations, and im sure they can share alot of hindsight and useful advice for you.

    Unfortunatley im not one of them, so i cant even imagine what you are going through right now :arms:
    Hopefully you'll be able to come and rant here and get everything off your chest and we can talk to u too, which'll hopefully be enough to not go back to cutting.

    i wish you the best. thinking of you :hug::hug:
     
  3. 04jwilliams

    04jwilliams Active Member

    aww thanku! ye i will try and come bk here as much as i can but ma parents check wat sites i go on2 so it cud b a problem! i do delete the history but they still find a way 2 know!
     
  4. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    bud hang in there. i went through alot of that myself but i never saw any help but then again i wasn't really sure that i could reach out. i would encourage you to try to reach out again for help. you and your sister deserve that. you don't deserve all the abuse. i find the young to be cherished and should be treated with respect. i hope you can find it.

    i also encourage you to try not to cut yourself. i know it seems like a temporary solution i've been there myself, but in the long run it really resolves nothing.

    please take care and if you need to continue to talk please feel free to do so. you can even pm me if you would like. please take care and continue to lean on us here as you can.
     
  5. 04jwilliams

    04jwilliams Active Member

    hope ur ok now tho! ye it reali sucks but sinse no professinals actually believe me whats the point in tryin and it just gets me in2 deeper rows with my parents cos they think tht is pathetic how i go and tell ppl cos according 2 them i'm the problem and always have been not them! thnx 4 ur opinion tho! xx
     
  6. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    seriously don't give up talking about it to professionals. if you don't let up they will end up listening they will have no choice. it will be the only way to get you to quiet down. i would also encourage you to make a journal of exactly what goes on and then you could take that before the professional and they do consider that to count as alot. so don't minimize that one.


    don't give up here. we're here with you as you can be. please take care

    btw yes i made it through my experience and alot of scars that have followed. i am now an adult in my 30's, but to be honest with you the abuse even continued into my adult life so i cut my ties with them nearly ten years ago now.
     
  7. 04jwilliams

    04jwilliams Active Member

    heya ye thnx insignificant! at the mo everything is really bad cos yesterday my step dad went out drinking all day then started a row with my mum and he started 2 grab her nd i think he was about to hit her but then i saw it and came in and punched him (not hard tho)2 get him off her. Then later on he just started saying all these things like "if u eva touch me again i wil beat u up so hard tht all the blood out of ur head is splattered on2 the wall. then just after he said tht he just hit me so hard across the face. it is realli unexpected and it blumin caned after. and my mum saw 2 but just stood dere not doin a fing. now 2day he has apoligised but its happened 2 many times now he says he won't do it again and then the nxt day or woteva he does! i dunno wat 2 do neway. rite now ive been banned from da computer but as dey r all at da pub now i'm on it. plz tell me wat i shud do - 4give him again or wot?!
     
  8. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    Hey Jade, welcome back

    Nice to hear from you again, I missed you :hug: :hug:

    About your stepdad, I really think you should contact Social services again. This can't go on any longer :sad:
    How is it with the drugs use of your parents? If I remember correctly you found weed in their drawers? Do you know if they still do that?

    Honestly You need to get back in touch with social services, this can't go on any longer. Please don't keep forgiving him. He has no right to do this to your mum, you nor your sister.

    Ps - way to go on no longer selfharming. I understand it's difficult right now, but I'm sure you can do it :hug: `
     
  9. jcat

    jcat Staff Alumni

    keep fighting for whats right. your safety. between you and your litttle sis, you both need to be safe. i'm so sorry to hear how it is at home. come around as often as you can. we'll always be here to help in any way we can. just be strong. please.
     
  10. Beret

    Beret Staff Alumni

    williams :hug: good to have you back. im so sorry hear your story, personally ive never been abused by my family, but you are very strong to support your little sisters :) perhaps they is any kind of counseling at your school that could help you to be protected again??? With the scarves, dw too much; unless they have been very deep cuts they should disappear after a couple of years, im so happy for you youve been able to stop cutting.
    Wish you all the best hun,
    Beret xxx
     
  11. 04jwilliams

    04jwilliams Active Member

    Heya! aww thnku every1 is soo nice on here! i posted last nite but then it just came up sayin "page cannot be displayed"! Ester is graet 2 talk 2 u again! hope u r ok?!
    The problem with talkin to social services is tht they dnt actually beleive me about anything and plus it makes soo much more tension at home because i've told! My step dad is still smoking weed infront of us all but i have kind of got used 2 it now especially as some of my m8s smoke it!
    I had councilling both professionally and at skool and it neva realli helped but i suppose its an option again but the child protection person 4 my skool said tht i shudnt have skool councilling cos its onli with 6th formers tht obviously arn't specialised and i have 2 major problems 4 them 2 deal with! And self harming i havent done in a year but last nite i was soo close its unbelievable but luckily my friend talked me out of it! xxx
     
  12. MeMyselfAndI

    MeMyselfAndI New Member

    aww spade i will come with you rely and i dnt want you to be sad :( plz be happy you have all us and stuff we will help!! and dnt ever be lured into cutting again plz because it hurt us all and we will help you all if you feel you need to =( love you!!!!
     
  13. 04jwilliams

    04jwilliams Active Member

    heya spanner! aww fnku! ur so kind! i find it realli hard 2 tlk 2 u at skool or woteva cos deres always ppl araound! nd if i do cut again i'm sorri xxx
     
  14. Beret

    Beret Staff Alumni

    williams, be proud of yourself that you havent started self harming again. It must be horrible with a weed smoking dad, if you can confront him and tell him what a lousy example he gives you :( We are here for you to listen,your step dad probably doesnt. Please stay strong, its a major achievment that you havent started selfharming again. Please feel free to pm me anytime.
    :hug:
    Beret xxx
     
  15. MeMyselfAndI

    MeMyselfAndI New Member

    It seriously dosen't matter if you do, well it does, but we wnt hold it against you or anything and we can help you!! Spadeyy we really care for you!! :tongue: Dont forget tht and i know its hard to talk at skl n stuff coz someone is always there but we can talk on msn and stuff...we love you spade!!! xxxxxx
     
  16. 04jwilliams

    04jwilliams Active Member

    fnku! ive got realli gd ppl on here! ive tried confrontin him a million times but i just get tod 3 f off nd he comes bk with stuff 2 chuck at me lyk im fat which im not nd stuff like dat! sometyms ma lyf gets soo bad lyk da otha day dat i wished i was dead nd den i was even gonna runaway at da weekend but didnt in da end! xxx
     
  17. powder_girl

    powder_girl Active Member

    Hey, do we have any professional people working on this forum? Like is there anyone who actually knows about most of the laws and regulations about child abuse and the child's rights?

    I mean, j, you seem to need someone who can DO SOMETHING...

    do you see case workers or therapists or what? like, whats the title of the people you see? do thhe see you at school, or at home, or in some other place?

    what do they want you to say usually? what are there questions?

    honey, you need to be a man for your sister (which you seemingly are!! proud of that) and what you need to do is write down everything that happens to you, don't get emotional about it when writing, it's just a log of what happens and keep it safe, hide it or something, also, write down what happens at your sessions with this person you talk to from the social services....make sure you write down anything they say if they deny you are having problems, or if they say anything that is rude or mean or just ignoring your needs, OK?

    keep that log because in the long run, when you are a little older (how old are you? I guess what I'm askin is if you could take a little time and write more about your situation, what and who you're talking to about this, and what is going on) you can use that to get some of your rights heard.

    If you live in the UK, I don't know what the general custom there is, but I think there's gotta be resources here for you to use...maybe someone who can anonymously talk to you about your situation and give legal advice to you or something like that.



    but really, I'm proud of what you're doing and your sister is precious, do keep her and yourself safe. Don't fight your stepdad unless you need to defend yourself, just avoid him as much as you can.

    I know that there's a way you can get out of there just have to find it. I know that in the UK you can move out at 16 or something? I know u dont want to leave your sister, but if your life is in danger at any moment you should get out and THEN find some lawyer or someone that can help you figure out how to get your sister out and stuff.

    do you work? that'd be a good idea, to make money save it so when the time comes you can use it when u need it the most
     
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