sometimes there's just nothing anyone can say do or whatever to make u feel better , Ive got to a point in my life where i HAVE to make some changes firstly i need to get physically well , then i have to get mentally well and then i can go get my op but to do all this seems impossible i mean right now i live in the middle of what looks like the aftermath of a war zone ... some ppl are living without so much that comes normally to western society i mean heres a link to what im living in : http://www.stuff.co.nz/the-press/news/christchurch-earthquake-2011/6365644/Adrift-in-limbo-land people take so much for granted and people think that everything's just roses and all that . well its fucken not im sick to death of ppl saying hang in there it will get better ... WHEN ????????? i ask when the fuck will it get better ?????????? i cant wait to get out of this fucked up city and live a somewhat normal life again but that's only the start i still have to get my health better and my mental health under control so that i can go ahead and become the person i was meant to be. im so sick and tired of being sick and tired and im so sick to death of ppl thinking that things just get better over night. heres some facts 1) my heart is broken in many pieces and i cant find the map to put it all back together in the right place , 2) my city is FUCKED we keep having earthquakes were past the 10,000 one now in less than 18 months 3) im transgender and im struggling to find acceptance with people and even with myself 4) im fucken over being told to hang on cos it all gets better , im 26 and Ive suffered with depression and numerous other mental health issues for over half my life. 5) my self harm is beyond what i ever dream t it would become 6) im a low down junkie who is recovering does all this make me a bad person ??? well if it does FUCK YOU im doing my best to live a life that's been so hard and im trying to find myself in a world that's so UN-accepting . i don't care what u think of me from this post it doesn't worry me in the sightless now cos i am who i am and either you'll get over that fact or you'll leave me the hell alone but one thing DONT tell me it will get better cos i don't even know if that statement carries any worth im so angry im so scared and im hurting so fucken much , when does the hurting end ?????