hypocrite that is already dead

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by iitywygmah, May 1, 2010.

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  1. iitywygmah

    iitywygmah Member

    I found this site with the hope that I would find an answer to the way I feel, about myself, those around me and the world.

    It has helped a little; I read posts and see some who have similar problems that I can relate to, but as expected not the exact same problems.

    I have not posted much in the forum because of just being plain old scared to, but have sent PM’s to some that I thought could just use incite towards problems that I have experienced and sort of survived.

    Now I feel like a hypocrite because in giving this advice I was hoping it would help me a little knowing that I was trying to help others, as well as boost my belief of the advice, it has failed miserably
    I still have this undeniable urge to help others, but I cannot seem to save myself, and that will just make everything I tell others mean nothing.

    To tell the truth I have felt like I died years ago and I am only a shell existing with the façade of someone who is doing well. As mentioned before I have a paralyzing fear of anything Dr. related, I have not seen a Dr. in over 25 years except for 2 emergencies where the first I was seriously injured falling through a glass cabinet and the second had to due to the first medication I have taken in over 30 years, Nyquil turns out effects a few people like me differently it sends my heart rate through the roof that entitles me to a free trip to the emergency room. I have since avoided all forms of medication.

    For someone who has suicidal thoughts a fear of all Doctors and unable to tolerate even over the counter medications does not bode well for my future.

    I just wanted thank everyone for being here keep up your support there are those who it is not to late, and to the others I sent PM please I did really mean what I wrote, it helped me at times, just at this time in my life not enough.

  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi Tina...it is never too late nor wasted to send some hugs and to let you know that I do not think what you did what hypocritical...it was an earnest attempt to show compassion...never a bad thing...hope you find the same for yourself...you deserve it...again, big hugs, J
  3. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    HI Tina..I know what you're saying .....i am the same......I'm busy trying to help others when I'm not good at helping myself....
    that's ok though don't you think?...if we can help others it's worth hanging on another day.....
    I wish you'd brave a trip to the docs and try some medication for depression....you may not be allergic to everything on the market...they may get you feeling better....
    take care...
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hi Tina,
    Helping others is always a good thing.. It's even good therapy for yourself.. Thats the way I see it anyhow.. It warms the heart when you get a PM saying that you helped..Don't be so hard on yourself. From what I see you have taken the first step towards a positive future..Post as much as you want or even vent your frustrations.. We are here to offer you help..Take care!!!
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