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I’m never good enough

#1
I’ve been single unhappily for 5 years .
I have tried to date but I always get the same rejection and have had various lines ‘not wanting a relationship / something serious’. One guy asked me for nudes and one said I’m not good looking enough .

I looked at my friend and her gorgeous baby today and I just thought what am I doing .
Another friend is buying a house . I am nearly 31 and have nothing.

I got bullied as a child and called ugly and now I feel unattractive and like I jsut don’t match up to the pretty women out there
I just don’t know what to think or do any more
 

Lane

SF Supporter
#2
I’ve been single unhappily for 5 years .
I have tried to date but I always get the same rejection and have had various lines ‘not wanting a relationship / something serious’. One guy asked me for nudes and one said I’m not good looking enough .

I looked at my friend and her gorgeous baby today and I just thought what am I doing .
Another friend is buying a house . I am nearly 31 and have nothing.

I got bullied as a child and called ugly and now I feel unattractive and like I jsut don’t match up to the pretty women out there
I just don’t know what to think or do any more
Sorry that you're feeling like this right now @Kitten12. You know, even those with the lives that seem so great have trouble...maybe debt or fighting.

Please try to be kind to yourself when you can. Thirty-one is young.

Those guys that send or ask for nudes are groce and there out there. It has NOTHING to do with you. They will do what they can get away with. Your time will come.

My friend, a male who I really liked, was very gentle and a good dad always reminded me when I was sad or stressed. He'd just smile and say, you're fabulous, be patient. I d line to say that to you now sweet girl.
 
#3
I have tried to date but I always get the same rejection and have had various lines ‘not wanting a relationship / something serious’. One guy asked me for nudes and one said I’m not good looking enough .
One of the problems seems to be that gender relations right now are extremely poor. I think the messages coming through the media especially are that gender relations are about competition and conflict. In that kind of environment, it can be hard for loving relationships to grow.

The guys wanting non-serious relationships and nudes probably found you attractive, but only wanted sex. The guy that said you weren't good looking enough was probably just trying to be mean.

Just because you haven't found a good guy yet doesn't mean that you can't. It just may take more time and more work than would have been required in a different time in history.

It's also possible to find meaning in life without having a romantic relationship, but you'll probably be able to find one eventually if you really want one.

Hugs
 
#4
I’ve been single unhappily for 5 years .
I have tried to date but I always get the same rejection and have had various lines ‘not wanting a relationship / something serious’. One guy asked me for nudes and one said I’m not good looking enough .
Both of those guys are idiots and are not worthy of your time or attention. First of all, if a guy is asking for nudes so early on in a relationship he probably cannot be trusted to deleted them if the relationship ends and will probably end up showing them to someone that you did not intend to see them.

Second, the guy who tells you that you are not good looking enough is just going to treat you horribly. If his primary concern is physical appearance then he is most likely shallow, narcissistic, and will end up cheating on you and leaving you for nest woman he can get to talk to him who is the tiniest bit more "good looking".

I know this won't really help you feel better, but what is important is the person's character, not their outward appearance. Let's say you found a really nice person who was kind, thoughtful, considerate, and all of the other non physical qualities you want in a partner. And that person also happened to be really physically attractive. Then, something unfortunate happens and they are no longer as attractive, and will probably never be as physically attractive. Does that change who they are as a person? Does the change in their outward appearance cause them to no longer be kind, thoughtful, considerate, etc..? Would you just leave that person because they are no longer physically attractive?

I'm not one who makes bets, but I would be willing to bet that you would not leave that person. And don't you deserve to be treated the same? Shouldn't you be looking for someone who will want you for who you are?

@may71 is corect
Just because you haven't found a good guy yet doesn't mean that you can't.
and
It's also possible to find meaning in life without having a romantic relationship, but you'll probably be able to find one eventually if you really want one.
I got bullied as a child and called ugly and now I feel unattractive and like I jsut don’t match up to the pretty women out there
I just don’t know what to think or do any more
Everyone is different. Everyone is unique. You cannot compare yourself to others and you shouldn't judge your life against the lives of others. Are you a good person? Do you do your best to be honest and kind? Those are the things that matter. Owning a house or having children are not the measures of success in life. If those are things that you want, then you can work towards those goals, but just because you have not achieved those yet does not mean there is anything wrong with you. I know many people who did not get married until after they were 30, and did not have children until after that. And some who still have not purchased a house. Yet, I, nor do any of their friends, think that there is anything wrong with them.

@Kitten12 you are being too hard on yourself. You will be able to find the the things you want, and you will find happiness.

Please be safe and take care
 

DrownedFishOnFire

Back into the wild where I belong. Out of your way
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#5
Sorry but the guy asking for nude kind of made me laugh. Its like a quarter of them have de-evolved since technology has come out. So unoriginal and probably have no idea how to treat others like a decent human beings. Jeez what a trip. Its too common.

Beyond me why someone would go out of their way to tell you you are not good looking enough. Look at themselves in the mirror lately?

It seems to me the most miserable men are always shooting for the models. Unrealistic expectations and they are not model level themselves either. Not worth your time either.

Majority of the negative interactions: definitely not worth your time or energy to get upset about. Really. Keep on going and meeting different people after all it only takes one chance encounter for the right guy!

You seem like a nice geniune person.
 

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