Hey there,
When I was your age (like literally!). . . I know I sound like a Grandpa 👴 -& at 42, nearly feel like one ☝️ too: (but I don’t really act like one..
) // but during that time & age was the one time I was truly targeted and I guess you’d have to say, or call it “bullying,” of sorts.
so it happened during the summer at my first job as a janitor (student) at our high school 🏫 so me and along with about 7 or 8 others, give or take, held these positions. And the age ranged from 15-18. Now, when this took place was during lunchtime. It was a full time job -& thank god only during the summer... but we were all locked in the same room —(& it wouldn’t be a class room for some reason, I don’t recall how it was chosen; but it would be an alternate type room, much smaller , off to the side & claustrophobic (like a police interrogation room).
So if you picture this, every single day at noon 🕛 for the entirety of the lunch hour , I had about 5 or 6 guys quite literally spend the entire duration of the break ripping on me. It was like a roast, except that it wasn’t in an underlying enduring sort of way. And it was very rapid fire — rat - tat - tat - tat (one persons joke; followed by another; followed by another; followed by another. . )
and massive massive laughter and applause was going on in between and during these burns. So it was basically two seniors, a junior - no sophomores (like me) - & two freshman... I feel like I may be forgetting one or two others, but you get the point. It began the moment the last person sat down, and opened their lunch box. And you’d better or best believe that it was a race to do so! And it wouldn’t end until the clock stuck time to go. It doesn’t matter if it was exactly one hour, or a little bit less. It felt like an eternity, and as I say, this was every day, from Monday to Friday (week ends, off).
What made it so difficult to deal with was the fact that I was not used to having to defend myself in this manner. I was very popular amongst my own classmates, none of whom were here, and what’s worse, some of them were siblings to my friends in school (one was actually even younger). Whether or not having these requisite skills in this environment would’ve mattered I could not say. Probably not, had they still chosen to do so and all ganged up on me like that. And they could all each individually kick my butt, so that didn’t help much. . .
It’s strange , because after that, I went back to school in the fall, and it was very weird. I think it took me a good minute or more to adjust to the normalcy of being around and in the company of friends. I was now not used to not being picked on. But eventually, things evened out —& returned or went back to normal.
So what happened then was that I basically stuffed all that inside for the next... well, I don’t know, it was about 5 or 6 years ago - when it came to me—& I’d realized what was done. That is to say, the damage (inflicted). Even though I didn’t know it consciously—that is to say, I wasn’t aware of it in the present time or moment at any given time since then. I began to realize how it has affected me, in a wide variety of ways over the years.
So, I know this isn’t really a very analogous situation, or one in which you can draw many direct comparisons to. But if you feel hurt, done be afraid to ask for help. There’s professionals like psychologists and others who are well trained in this type of stuff. And you may then be able to prevent a lot of the fall out and blow back that I dealt with (albeit unknowingly), for a very good & great number of years. Though I had been to therapy many times in my 20’s & 30’s, this was not something I’d ever even thought of to bring up—because I wasn’t even aware that it was a problem or an issue. : ) 😉 good luck!👍🍀 if you can’t find someone who will listen at your school keep looking and find someone else who will. Maybe ask your doctor for a referral... ✌️ Peace!
