i actually hate it...

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by cownes, Dec 28, 2009.

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  1. cownes

    cownes Well-Known Member

    i actually dont like doing it anymore, it was under control not cutting as much before x mas, x mas has come and gone and i dont have contorl over it anymore, it has contol over me, i dont even enjoy it anymore, ive started the cycle, i feel bad so cut, i feel bad ive cut, so cut, and so the circle goes on and on and on. :( no matter how hard i try i just cant kick this habbit, it has got a grip on me, and it is well and truely got the grip and its not willing to release itself any time soon :(
  2. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Throw away all your blades, and do something to distract yourself. Like a time consuming hobby or something.

    To stop you have to really want to, though. It's hard but doable, even for weak-willed people like me. I've managed to not do it for months.

    Here if you need anything.
  3. cownes

    cownes Well-Known Member

    i threw them all away, but i always find something to do it with, well i do anyway, ive stopped in the past, but not for very long, everytime i stop its only for like a week then i just lose all control and it conrtols me again, :(
  4. Gem_Gem

    Gem_Gem Well-Known Member

    I can definitely relate to the whole cycle thing, and being angry at yourself for cutting.

    I wish I could say more to help. Just try and distract yourself as much you can, and I know how hard it is when its all you can think about. But the longer you go without cutting the better you feel about yourself.

    Try and set yourself a goal....each time try and last longer without cutting. It is definitely not easy but I know you can get through it.

    hope you feel better soon.
  5. cownes

    cownes Well-Known Member

    :hug: i tired it then if i fail the goal i come down really hard on myseld :( grrr this is so annoying. its my best friend at the momment, really not a healthy coping mechanism though :(
  6. Gem_Gem

    Gem_Gem Well-Known Member

    I know it's really hard, but try not to be so hard on yourself. It's not your fault that you feel the way you do.

  7. cownes

    cownes Well-Known Member

    i wish i could stop being so hard on myself, but i seem to be doing it a lot lately, :(
  8. Gem_Gem

    Gem_Gem Well-Known Member

    Just know that there are people who care about you and would hate that you are feeling this much pain.

    I'm here if you need to talk.
  9. cownes

    cownes Well-Known Member

    thanks for the kind words :) :hug:
  10. flower123

    flower123 Member

    heya huni,
    how are you?? sorry i aint replied to your thread just been having a stressful time at the moment
  11. cownes

    cownes Well-Known Member

    ugh, ow no, i jsut dont no who i am at the momment, this is just so out of control :/
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