I did. I really let just about everything on my mind out. a couple days ago (29th) the day before my mothers birthday I was overly sad and depressed. I layed down on her bed and she came in to talk with me. I figured it would be like it always is- I tell her I don't know whats wrong and she would talk. She did talk a lot about being positive etc. but then I just lost it- I told her everything. I found the core of why I was still so bitter..I still blame myself for my father leaving almost 7 years ago. it was the root and I am no less depressed but I believe her this time, it wasn't me. I told her all I could between hyperventilating, about wanting my cancer back, about being suicidal, not wanting to wake up, and I let her know I am here out of guilt alone. I told her how hurt I am everytime someone snaps or yells at me and how I really cry everyday without fail. I told hr I felt like she forgot about me after I asked for 'help' and recieved none. Aside from some slight shock she wasn't put off. I tryed to say I was sorry and She hugged me and told me I didn't say anything wrong, that she understood why I wanted my cancer back. I haven't felt that close to anyone..ever. :sad: I remember after I moved a few years ago I had my first real breakdown and truely lost it in the corner of my room. I don't remember much, I just know/am told I kept saying that she was going to leave too. I feel like a child sometimes as i'm still not over it, but I actually feel like I can tell her most anything and she will still love me, maybe even like me. She hasn't treated me or looked at me any differently since I told her about being suicidal like I had feared she might. just needed to get this off my chest.