I actually need

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by jipultona, Sep 24, 2015.

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  1. jipultona

    jipultona New Member

    I was always a boy with not much alertness to life and how to survive, nor with much tricks and strong will to evade this life where everywhere are people who will hamper.

    In teenages I deliberately formed crude tobacco and lime addiction. My parents never sat with me with suggestion about life and how to cope out. They just acted arrogant and gave me bickerings
    that rather aloned me and kept me agitated and lonely so that I could even in past 18 years could not quit this bad addiction.

    due to this addiction my mental and physical vigour totally ruiend, and with years of sitting only at home I now cant move our or cope up.

    I have some other weird tendencies also..I am not practical, cunning and fast..I tend to mull in noatalgia and form obsessive hooks on past events, some people etc..

    I joined many courses and was once appointed for job, but my topsy-turvy condition and bad dirty addiction made me ineligible and rather wasted my parents' money and my effort. In year 2011 my
    sister got married who carried on her progress in life and was considered the main support by my ailing parents. Since then I have been totally ignored and mistreated and insufficiently considered
    at home by my parents.

    whiile only a little more attention and positivity from my parents would have long cured me, but they have not..even today or 4 years ago as I was developoing very well as a 3d and animation
    artist on self study, a little care from my parents would have allowed me to quit tobacco and develop and place myself on stream, but they have totally rejected me..and their behaviour is contrary
    to my peace and clear mind and growth.

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    I am not mentally/physically ideally suited to live this life well..my productive and growing years are also gone..I am 32 with no job nor any orietation to job or progress. Everyday is a living
    hell of loneliness and stagnation. My parents should have many years ago held me to cope out from this..but they did'nt and wont..all even if I live and eat here, my life is not going to be well
    of what I actually deserve to live well..Please help me or send me some painless suicide pill or do something. I am not suicidal..but I dont want to make my life hell..life should have the quality
    worth living and enjoying..!! All through years without any reason my life record was ruined with deliberate psychiatric manipulation, while the psychitrist is not so good..nor I have any ailments
    I believe, only my family's behaviour is ruining me..I nevr got psychological councelling nor family councelling nor ever had many friends..life is different here, and my life conditions are an
    exception..I dont know how other normal people can smile through life..my life's ruinment is not my doing..thig is that I dont want to face the hell coming uo in my life..Please give me painless
    suicide pills or something..I have no money to get those either!

    I am a developing artist and with education would work wonders, but my family and life is not concerned so I can life or find best values in life!
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 24, 2015
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I am sorry you have found yourself in a situation that causes pain and anguish. Reading your post however it occurs ot me that you have a lot of control of your problems and intentionally started or added to them. While this self destructive behavior is common, the good thing is self destructive behaviors and manipulations that are intentionally inflicted are easily stopped as well. If you want a less painful life simply stop intentionally making things worse as you say you have done repeatedly.

    Gaining the attention of parents is is a common issue, but at 32 it is time to stop manipulating to do that and time to worry about getting positive attention from yourself. Stop trying to be noticed by how bad you are and start motivating yourself to do well. Not only will you shed the pain, you will likely find the attention you desire from others. Tobacco is a bad habit many have, but it is your habit and useless to blame others for it. The reason why you intentionally addicted yourself to it is unimportant- the fact is you did it intentionally. Instead of intentionally continuing , quit for yourself since it upsets you so much. Your actions are your own and you cannot blame others for your choices, but you can change the choices starting now from intentionally poor choices to good choices and find happiness.
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