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I actually SAW IT!

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by mackaroni, Dec 13, 2012.

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  1. mackaroni

    mackaroni Well-Known Member

    I am still reeling from what I witnessed earlier today. I actually saw a young man who lived in my apartment building kill himself right in front of me and several other people! Not just find him in the aftermath but actually see the act and him die right in front of me! It wasnt glamrous, romantic, quiet, clean, or good in anyway.

    I am so haunted by what I saw I cant even think straight. My neighbors and I are in such a state of shock I think these are the first words I have formed to make any sense in hours! I always thought if I killed myself it would be clean and those that found me would be okay. I cant even imagine anyone I love finding me after I had done something like that!

    So if you are thinking of ending your life, PLEASE stop for just one minute and think about those that have to deal with the aftermath. Suicide is never pretty and I dont know if I will EVER be able to get the images of this young mans final acts out of my head! I dont care what is going wrong in my life I will find a way to perservere! Life can be beautiful even in death when its not by your own hand! I dont want anyone to ever witness what I have seen today..NO ONE!
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hugs to you I hope you have someone hun a therapist that can help you from the trauma you witnessed
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I'm sorry for what you've seen. :hug: I hope you have someone you can talk to who will listen and let you talk it out, because I can't imagine how awful that must have been.
  4. mackaroni

    mackaroni Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the replies! I am dealing with it okay. I talked to a chaplin (I live in a Salvation Army housing program) and am meeting with my personal therapist tomorrow. I dont know if I will be able to sleep tonight with those images in my head, but I will keep myself safe. Thanks for the support!
  5. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    wow, that's awful. sorry that you had to experience that

    maybe talking to your neighbors who saw that too might help. I bet they could be going through the same things that you are now
  6. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    After the fact, it is really a gruesome and messy experience, not just by the method that people who choose to go by, but for all the people who have to clean up the scene, the police having to go through the pain staking task of passing on the news to friends and relatives (which does indeed affect them a lot more emotionally than most people care to think about) and the grief people go through while having to prepare for the funeral arrangements and then sitting through the funeral itself.
    Suicide is by no means a greatly romantic as many people seem to think; it is actually a gruesome experience for everyone left behind.
  7. TheDayThatNeverComes

    TheDayThatNeverComes Active Member

    Its good youre going to be talking to a therapist(how did your first meeting go?). I suggest you visit your neighbors and talk to them like one of the posters suggested. It will get better in time, I promise. Talk talk talk to people,dont bottle it in
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