I am still reeling from what I witnessed earlier today. I actually saw a young man who lived in my apartment building kill himself right in front of me and several other people! Not just find him in the aftermath but actually see the act and him die right in front of me! It wasnt glamrous, romantic, quiet, clean, or good in anyway. I am so haunted by what I saw I cant even think straight. My neighbors and I are in such a state of shock I think these are the first words I have formed to make any sense in hours! I always thought if I killed myself it would be clean and those that found me would be okay. I cant even imagine anyone I love finding me after I had done something like that! So if you are thinking of ending your life, PLEASE stop for just one minute and think about those that have to deal with the aftermath. Suicide is never pretty and I dont know if I will EVER be able to get the images of this young mans final acts out of my head! I dont care what is going wrong in my life I will find a way to perservere! Life can be beautiful even in death when its not by your own hand! I dont want anyone to ever witness what I have seen today..NO ONE!