I actually want to die

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Ruby, Feb 13, 2007.

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  1. Ruby

    Ruby Well-Known Member

    When I say it I'm not distressed, I'm actually calm. I've never meant it so much. My thoughts aren't clouded with negativity. I know it's what I want. I don't want to turn to anybody and tell them because I don't want to be sectioned again. I don't want their help anymore. I don't know how to feel. I don't know if I should be happy or sad. I know this is the right choice. I'm not going to 'get better'. No antidepressant or antipsychotic can help me. Hospital can't help. Even therapy doesn't help. I've been through it all before and I couldn't handle it again. The ONLY thing that gets me through the day is self harming. It makes me feel ill, knowing that I have to cut myself just to survive. I feel worthless, I feel hopeless, I feel overwhelmed with sadness. I can't seem to express my emotions to anybody. I can't deal with life. I don't even want to. I don't want to live and get a degree and go into a good profession. I don't want anything life has to offer. It's not worth it.
     
  2. Jodi

    Jodi Staff Alumni

    Ruby,


    Im so sorry your in so much pain right now....but you have to believe thier is a part of you wanting to live....you wrote this thread ...and thats a start....talk to us....whats going on....whats been happening...lean on us as much as you need to.....we care here...and we would definetly like to see you stick around....look forward to hearig more from you.....Jodi


    ps-I can understand the fear of being sectioned but if your feeling real unstable with your thoughts and out of control of your emotions and actions maybe you need to be in a safe place.....please stay safe!!!
     
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