I Almost done it

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#1
I have suffered with depression since I was about 8 & 1st tried to kill myself when I was about 10, then I learnt to live with depression for the next 20 years with a few more attempts, but reciently its started to get bad I get very depressed and think about finishing it & tried 2 weeks ago and have no idea why it didnt work , it took someone 3 hours to wake me up & I couldnt walk or speak for hours & they didnt think anything of it because noone would think I would ever do anything like that, im outgoing friendly make everyone laugh and hide being depressed very well, but this has fkn haunted me for years, I was depressed all day long , then all of a suddenly I feel fine like a big weight was lifted from my shoulders, it does my head in , because know it wont last, but I dont want to goto the doctors incase my 3 kids are taken from me, randomly finding this great site was good though
 
#2
Hey.. I did not want to let this information be known about my life but I thought you should hear it.. Im in a situation where the state is trying to take my kid away. They have been trying for years and they are never able.. That depresses me more and frankly it makes me hate my child (yes I know Im horrible, I dont need to hear it from others)... Im suicidle right now (more so then ever) so I dont tell the doctors/therapist a thing about how I really feel.. If youd ever like a chat, Im only a email away..
 
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