I almost killed myself

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Programvare, Apr 13, 2010.

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  1. Programvare

    Programvare Active Member

    I was taking a walk yesterday, and thoughts were really gathering up. I started shivering, and my head was thundering from headache. Then I got to the bridge over the highway, and I stood there for a while, and I wished I had just walked home at the fork earlier, but it was too late i thought. So I closed my eyes and stood on the edge of the bridge, and at this point I were crying my eyes out and trembling like hell. Then suddenly I couldn't move my body, it moved it self down from the edge and back to the ground. I had no control and then I suddenly stopped crying and trembling, and my eyes were wide open. So after I while i got in control and walked home.
    I want to die
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    What's wrong, why do you want to die?
  3. Programvare

    Programvare Active Member

    I've been suffering from suicidal feelings for a very long time. I am going to a psychatrist, but it doesn't seem to help me anything. I just feel like I want to die, and I think about it all the time.
  4. ASolitaryBlue

    ASolitaryBlue Well-Known Member

    :hug: chris. i know, it sucks. ive been dealing with the same constant feelings for a long time too, and havent found anyone willing to be much help the few times i went to see a psych. a few weeks ago i ended up on a similar walk. the thoughts collected, and i was at the bottom of the bridge by the river near my house... :hug: hang in there, there are better days and eventually things can pick up
  5. Programvare

    Programvare Active Member

    Thanks... I guess

    Though I just can't see any point of living when the only thing I can think aout is how, when, and where to commit suicide
  6. Pebble

    Pebble Well-Known Member

    Hi Chris I know how you feel and constantly spending every moment of everyday figuring out a way that could be successfull is tiring - please keep trying to reach out for help because there will be better days - i know it doesn't feel like it at the moment, believe I understand but one day soon you will be smiling and just enjoying your day moment by moment because you can. its never easy but if you can find the right support they can help you get there - not everyday has to be a battle - or at least thats what I like to hope for x
  7. Programvare

    Programvare Active Member

    I hear you, but it's so difficult caring anymore. I tried to reach out to my gf, friends and also the psychatrist I'm going to regularly, but it doesn't give me anything. None of the things I cared about earlier matter. I'm just a living empty shell with no hopes or anything.
    I don't care to do good at school, I don't care about my gf's feelings and I don't know if I should break up with her, I don't care telling my mom about anything, I don't give a shit about other peoples feelings, I don't care to shower, eat, sleep, drink, excersise, take care of myself or anything. I feel hollow and I want to hurt myself and others.
  8. suicider628

    suicider628 Well-Known Member

    you are feeling hopeless because u gave up on the simplest thing, doing good in school, shower, eat, sleep, drink, excersise, take care of yourself is little things that give a major contribution to ur mood, negalect them and u will sink deeper, all is not lost, u stopped urself from jumping, ur other self don't want to die, trust urself, the foremost support u should get is from urself, support urself, the human body is harder to kill than u think, don't fuck up ur body. I speak from personal experienced as a mostly recovered suicider.
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