I almost killed the love of my life..

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by absolution, Feb 10, 2011.

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  1. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    Krista is in the psych ward and it's all my fault..... :cry: I hurt her... not intentionally but still did.. and she hurt herself pretty badly... all my fault... can't do this anymore..........
     
  2. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    :hug:
     
  3. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    I really don't deserve a hug but thanks
    :hug:
     
  4. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    You deserve all the hugs in the world. :hug:
     
  5. black orchid

    black orchid Well-Known Member

    You shouldn't blame yourself sam :hug:
     
  6. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    But I think I broke her heart... :cry:

    :hug:
     
  7. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    she's in the best place to get the help she needs hun...
    do you have some help for yourself?
    *hug*
     
  8. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    Don't feel like i deserve help atm... I was going to call my therapist but settled for a bottle of liquor insted
    *hugs*
     
  9. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    its not your fault j,its no ones fault !!!!
    its the damn illness:hugtackles:
    hugs for you and kristaxx
     
  10. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    Just got confirmation that it is my fault. I hurt the person I love the most and I don't feel like I can live with myself anymore....
     
  11. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Imagine how much she will hurt if you kill yourself hun...
    please stay strong...*hug*
     
  12. kote

    kote Account Closed

    its sounds like right now you need love and support too.
    things which we do in the past we may regret but with time and patience we can make an effort to repair them.
    i hear that you are feeling terribly guilty but we are only human and are programmed to make mistakes. thats how we learn.
    two people stressed out beyond belief wont get anyone anywhere. try and shine even if inside you cant. i know when ive hot bottom if my wife is in a panic too it makes me worse.
    please shine and keep possitive even if you are facing a huge burden of guilt with time that will pass i promise.
     
  13. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    I don't feel like i deserve love and support tho.. I mean.. i broke her heart.. :(


    But... she tried... what about how hurt I am? But that doesn't matter because its my fault..
    *hugs*
     
  14. OhneDich

    OhneDich Well-Known Member

    maybe you should wait for when she's a lil better and have a serious talk about what you did to hurt her. And tell her about how you feel too, so you both can understand what's really happening.

    Try not to let the called disease keep you two apart. You're stronger than that, be sure.
     
  15. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    yeah i will. But I'm thinking it would be easier on her if i just disappeared..
     
  16. kote

    kote Account Closed

    i hoping youre feeling a little better.
    guilt can be a heavy burden and its best to share - especially with us who understand how you feel.
    rather than seeing right now as an ending point see it as a new start on a fresh sheet. you may have fucked up, so may be feeling like hell, but you can both build on that and start again in a beter position knowing what to avoid in the future.
    surely a day of smiles between each other is worth a little effort.
    reading between the lines i can see how deeply you love her and surely her for you too. now thats a great start wherever you are.
    we all make mistakes!!! i do daily!!! but i learn and benefit from them and make myself stronger as the other option is to fall victim to life.
    try to be strong and know everyone here are supporting you!!!
    i could type so much more but i feel right now you need little doses, take things easier and slowly. lay a foundation and both build together.
     
  17. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy


    I do.. I love her so so much. So much it hurts sometimes. But I let my feelings of worthlessness get in the way and it almost killed her... I don't feel like i can ever forgive myself for that. And this has all increased the feelings.. and I just want to die.. everyone IS better off without me..
     
  18. kote

    kote Account Closed

    hey we all get days like this and want to end it all and feel everyone is better off without us. thats my speciality. i love my family so much that i dont want to burden them with my baggage.
    but i love them too much to give them lead weights to carry forever!!!
    when i feel i cant go on i crash in bed for days and slowly recover.
    its a sickness after all and we need our rest.
    in particular your case guilt will feel like a huge balloon getting bigger and bigger. try some of your meds from a dr. or some deep breathing exercises.
    this stage will pass and she will need you and love you even more if youre there for her.
    go and be with her, hold hands. no need to talk just show you are there for her. then be her knight in shining armour and be a gent. show her that the original spark is still there and you can build on it.
    i do wish you both well and both the best at this hard time!!!
     
  19. kote

    kote Account Closed

    let it go....the damage has been done and now its time to gather your energy and recover. the past has gone and we can never change it - god i wish i could!!!

    use it as a lesson and try to avoid the pitfalls. i can imagine youve not slept much lately either which puts our nervous system and brain all out of whack. get warm and some hot chocolate and a good book or dvd and take a time out.

    without rest youd be no use to her or yourself. fully rested you can take the bull by the horns and figure it al out!!!

    please do take care!!!
     
  20. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy


    I'm trying.. honestly.

    Yeah.. i don't remember the last time i slept more than 3 hours at a time
     
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