A few weeks ago I bought a method out of impulse. I was going to attempt. I even looked up how to and how to increase chances of death. I thought about where I was going to do it and where I could do it so no one would find me until I was already dead. Over a minor social issue that invoked a lot of social anxiety. Its not the first time. It was just the furthest I had got. But I cant help it because to me these small things are everything to me.