I really wanted to go to the medical center and tell them everything this morning. I could tell them about how suicidal I am when sober. I could tell them how a certain someone just does her best to make me feel like shit all the time. This certain someone also takes my brother's sedatives herself when he really needs all of them, not just the 1/2 she lets him have so she can have the other 1/2. She has her own fucking tranqilizers too so this action she chooses to take is really]/b] pathetic...... the actions of a stone cold-hearted addict. I could have had her arrested for that I guess. What stopped me? My brother...... I have no clue what would happen/where he would end up. My cat....... no one would be there for him and I don't know what would happen to him. I can't abandon him like that. So that's that. I'm tied into this hell that I call my life and it seems there is no choice but to grin and bear all the pain. And keep hoping for a better, brighter future.