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I already feel dead

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Jasv, Nov 5, 2015.

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  1. Jasv

    Jasv Well-Known Member

    I feel so.. pointless. I just feel done. I'm done with my family. I'm done with my apparent two-faced friends. I'm done with people. I'm done with my life. I don't have the urge to do anything. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to feel, or think, or function. I don't want to watch people enjoy their lives. I don't want to watch people happy. I don't want to get up from bed. I don't want to get up and eat. I don't want to do anything. You know what I want to do? I want to cry. I want to cry myself a river and drown in it. I want to drown in my own tears. I want to punch the walls and people's faces in and cry. I want to pull my hair and cry. I want to go away. Somewhere far far away and never come back. People tell me it's going to be okay, but it's not. People pretend they know, but they don't. I hate everyone. I HATE everyone. I don't want to exist anymore. Waking up hurts so damn much. My life just isn't worth it. It's not worth the stress. This pain. I hate my life. I hate me. I just want it to end. That's it.
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Reading your post made me feel so sad. I would hate to see my worst enemy going through what you are going through. But thankfully help is out there, I know you hate everyone and everything right now but you might feel differently next week month or year. How long have you been feeling like this and if something could help what would that something be ?
  3. True-Lee

    True-Lee Well-Known Member

    Jasv, May I Please take a little of your time? I have worn that, I was feeling that earlier today! Pointless! I have distanced myself from my Family, I have only spoken to one and that was more then a year ago. Two faced friends? I got rid of them before my Family!
    I live in the woods, 1/2 mile from a paved road! I have no neighbors, I have no company, I would stay in bed but I have to cut wood to keep me warm well me and my 2 cats!

    Happy? You don't want to watch happy people? Well I Cry I am not inviting you over but I don't want to Cry I do Cry! Every Day! I do not want to get up and eat but I do! I want to go away too! some day I will, I will never come back, People tell you it's going to be OK?
    What do they know? Have they suffered from depression? have they ever felt like you do? Have they tried to understand how you feel and why you feel the way you do? Well I Have! I have been dealing with it most of my life, I understand what and How you feel, I can Identify with You! I know what you are going through! I do not know why? If you want to tell me I will listen, but you don't have to tell me I am just saying in case you want to share that with me or us! There are others here, they have read what you wrote, we care about you, we care that you want to go away and never come back, I will ask you to please not do that, at least not yet! PLEASE?? Give us a chance, we know that this time of your life will lessen it will not feel so black hollow or empty! It does, it will get better, If you hurt yourself or do anything You might never learn that there are other things that you can do! Other steps you can take. We will support you we will share what we know we will try to be here with an ear that listen that will not judge, that will offer friendly words. We Do Care! Please be patient with us for a little while. We are here for you!
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