It happens every day in a million ways, some big and some small. A guy mentions that he has a girlfriend. That means that there's a girl who desires to be with him. I hear the word 'date'. I'm reminded that girls desire guys and go on outings with them. A girl talks about picking out clothing to arouse her boyfriend. This means that she desires his attention. I watch a home-made sex video. That woman obviously desired to have sex with that man. I browse the Internet and see a picture of a couple. I go on a dating website and see that a girl's relationship status is "Taken". I hear a song on the radio about being in love. I see a deodorant commercial where girls are chasing a guy. I play a video game and notice two polygon models walking down a polygon street holding each other's polygon hands. Every one of these occasions is an indication that there is a girl out there who desires a particular man. And every time I notice women expressing desire for men, I'm reminded that there has never even once been a single girl who ever desired me. I'm 20 and I've never had a girlfriend or a date or my first kiss and there is nothing attractive or appealing about me. I'm ugly looking and I'm "creepy" and there's no reason that any girl would ever desire me. But I've got to be reminded every day dozens of times per hour that there are women out there who want men, but not me. I hate living like this, constantly having to see a world that I can't be a part of, constantly seeing other men get to have what I want but can never possess. This must be what it's like for the disabled; the blind always have to hear about sight and the crippled always have to watch other people walk and run. I have to constantly see and hear about everything I want, without ever being able to obtain it. And the worst part is that other people are casual about it, like it's no big deal to them, like it's an everday thing to flirt with the opposite sex, when I'd sacrifice years of my life to experience that sensation just once. I hate living like this. I hate it so much. What are my options? What can possibly be done in my situation? What do I have to look forward to in the future? How can I guarantee that one day I will be happy? What evidence is there that things won't always be so awful for me?