I always worry about what I could have done?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Warrior2089, Aug 6, 2008.

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  1. Warrior2089

    Warrior2089 Active Member

    Here is my example. There is this girl that I know likes me, and I called her house about 20 minutes ago. I know she was playing hard to get, but I still worried about it.

    I'm worried because when she picked up, she said "why in the world are you calling my house?" I said "why does it matter?" and she paused for a minute then said "alright, bye". She didn't hang up until I said "hello?" a minute later, though.

    I'm worried that I could have said something better to make her like me even more (I'm a perfectionist, so I'm always looking into the hindsight of things un-voluntarily).

    The feeling that I got was basically "yeah, I could have done better, but I'll have to wait until next time or next call to make it better" and I felt really good about that thought. For the few seconds that it stayed in me. The feeling went away one second later and now I'm stuck here, still worrying that I could have done something better for a better immediate result.

    In other words, I'm thinking "what could it have been like if I said this?" all the time.

    So do you guys feel like this (at least some times?) and how can I get rid of this worrying hindsight?

    If anyone can help me out, I know it's you guys.
     
  2. Bigman2232

    Bigman2232 Well-Known Member

    Well I don't think there is actually any way to get rid of that way of thinking. I do think you can reduce it or at least make it work to your advantage.

    As part of always looking over past things, you can at least learn from them. Maybe not for the current situation but for possible future ones.

    I am also someone who looks back on everything I do and constantly think about how stupid it was. This is even for things that happened years ago.

    I just think some people are born to do it. It's part of our biology to naturally learn from our mistakes and for people like us, it's been switched to overdrive.

    It sucks.

    sorry there's not really a lot of help in this post.
     
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