I am a burden to all

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Bill29, Nov 13, 2015.

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  1. Bill29

    Bill29 New Member

    Hello, I just signed up here. I am 16, live with my mom and dad, don't have brothers or sisters. I am actually in high school. Recently I have been thinking a lot about suicide, this might be weird since I have a loving family, friends and people I love. But I have been thinking of my future. I am wondering if life is really worth living. I have found more stress and pain than happiness until now. When my grandfather died I was expecting to be immensely sad, but I wasn't at all. I must be a horrible selfish person. Why would I go on living if it is to do unpleasant things and live a miserably and harm other people's feelings . I am also very curious to know if something happens after death. Oh if only there was a button to turn me off I would hit it as soon as possible. The only fact holding me back from committing suicide is my self pain. Yes that seems very selfish. I want to kill myself because I can get to love other people as much as they love me. I am a horrible horrible person and my wonderful surrounding doesn't deserve to have to support a burden like me. <mod edit - methods> Can anybody find me a reason to live? Everyday I am trying to find a reason but I don't. Why am I even bothering you by posting this message. I am wasting your time. I am a waste. Why am I not dead yet?
     
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  2. Skylar

    Skylar Well-Known Member

    Hello Bill.
    Welcome to the forum :) First of all you are a human being that deserves to be happy and enjoying living just as much as anyone else, you are not a burden! Acknowledge the fact that you are important! Sometimes our lives become monotone and maybe you got tired of playing the same record over and over again?? About your grandpa, look I don't know how close you were but just because you are related to someone , that doesn't mean you have to love them and cry after they die. Or maybe you are feeling other emotions so intensely, you couldn't feel the sadness or something. I am no expert. But life is definitely worth living, it might not seem like it sometimes but that doesn't mean it won't. I am guessing you are lacking purpose in life? Find something you'll enjoy. Analyze yourself and find out what profession you'd like to practise in the future. Set yourself goals! It is hard to carry on without hope and a plan for the future. I am here for you. Anytime you wanna talk or vent or whatever I'll listen and try to be helpful. And know that not everybody has the same capacity to be able to love. Everybody is different. And different is not bad. It is just different :)
     
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