I am a burden

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by HollyGolightly, Apr 21, 2015.

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  1. HollyGolightly

    HollyGolightly New Member

    to everyone in my life. I am always feeling depressed and sick and now it has cost me my job. My poor family has better things to do than worry about a middle aged ugly useless woman like me. I am nothing but a burden. It is my own fault. There is no one to blame but myself. No one. I know it is a fact that everything in this world would improve if I was not in it. I am trapped in this spiraling vortex of selfishness, laziness, fear, and regret. I think all hope may be gone.
     
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi, what has brought you to this phase in your life? Did something happen or are these just thoughts you are having now. Depression often clouds our judgement, gives us a lack of motivation etc... See your doctor and try to pull yourself up slowly. Best of luck to you. You deserve to be helped just as much as the next person does.
     
  3. Northern

    Northern SF Supporter

    Welcome to SF. I hope it can help you. I agree with Petal's advices.

    Hugs
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You are not useless You are ILL ok you have an illness NOT your fault but you can get treatment either therapy or meds or both don't let depression tell you lies ok You have an illness and you did not chose that illness so please do not be so hard on yourself
     
  5. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi, welcome to the forum. You are hurting at the moment which is understandable and YOU ARE NOT A BURDEN TO ANYONE. I think you need to take Petal's advice. Please seek medical attention as medication will help you. You are important and be safe. Please do not act on any feelings please. We will get you through this tough time. Keep posting.
     
  6. HollyGolightly

    HollyGolightly New Member

    I cannot afford medical attention. I have no money.
     
  7. pirategirl

    pirategirl Active Member

    Do you have any friends you might be able to talk to? Keep talking here, anyway... we care. A lot.

    I can understand the feeling that all hope is gone, though... it's pretty much how I feel myself.

    I am sorry, I wish I had better things to say... please keep hanging on. <3
     
  8. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Keep posting here as we can help you. Please be safe and do not act on any feelings.
     
  9. ChestnutMay

    ChestnutMay Antiquities Friend

    HollyGolightly, Depending on where you are, there might be free or low cost mental health services available to you. Try calling local hotlines - they can be a good source of information. I live near a big city in the Mid Atlantic US and discovered the county hotline offers free temporary care while they work to get you set up in therapy you can afford. This free temporary care includes in home therapy and evaluation by a psychiatrist who prescribes medication. Granted, I had to pay for the meds myself, but I had insurance - if you don't, you can often get help through the pharmaceutical companies who manufacture the drugs. It is definitely worth a call to a hotline to find out what kinds of resources are available to you. Also, if you live in the US, you can call 211. Operators there will refer you to the right agencies to get help, including state, county and private ones.

    Right now you are suffering from an illness and you need support. I understand why you feel like you're a burden to those around you - I've been there, and pretty recently at that. However, this is a time to be gentle and understanding with yourself. Beating up on yourself is part of the disease, but it is making things worse. It's also the result of skewed thinking - you have a false impression of yourself and need to realize you are really a much better person than depression is letting you realize. Give yourself a chance. I hope you will keep posting here, people are very supportive and understanding and no one will ever view you as a burden.
     
  10. Bruces

    Bruces Well-Known Member

    I relate I'm in the same boat I'm just a nuisance to my family
     
  11. HollyGolightly

    HollyGolightly New Member

    I wish I even had the first iota of effort to call those numbers and go through the series of events to get help but I don't. And it may just be taking doctors away from ppeople who truly deserve to be helped instead of a disgusting trash heap like me.
     
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