I am a graduate student right now. I should be happy right? No. I've been depressed since middle school, I have a loving mother but no-one else, no friends, I spend most of my time alone in my apartment. I don't get along with my siblings due to their belief that I am gay and a weirdo because I am shy. After the fight we had tonight i am convinced that they are going to have me arrested or institutionalised (I said some vitriolic things that I regret) I hate life; I've been stressed out due to the work load, which compared to undergrad is much more daunting than I had believed. Some days I wake up in the morning and just feel hopeless. I do not care about anything, tried buying things to alleviate my depression (I maxed out two credit cards) to buy video games I havent even played, two new computers, and clothes but nothing. Honestly, I just want my pain to end. <mod edit - methods>. I can't stand it anymore.