I am a failure

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Miss Misery, Apr 28, 2012.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Miss Misery

    Miss Misery Active Member

    I didn't SH for two days. Sounds like nothing but I have been SHing every day (and sometimes even multiple times a day) for months so it was a really big thing for me.
    And then I relapsed and ruined it all.

    I am close to giving up on trying to get better. What's the point of stopping when the next relapse is going to be worse than it was before?
    I am weak and I am a failure.

    Why don't I just die? The CO2 level in the atmosphere is too high anyway. I don't deserve oxygen.
     
  2. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    You made two days, that's a start. Well done! So now, try to make 3 days.
    Please do not call yourself a failure.
     
  3. Miss Misery

    Miss Misery Active Member

    I don't even want to make it that long. I want to SH. I need SH.
     
  4. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    You can try other things Miss, use ice or something to simulate cutting.
     
  5. SilentScream

    SilentScream Well-Known Member

    Hello.

    For someone who has been cutting everyday it is pretty 'good' to have not cut for two days.
    For that I really want to complimentate you!
    And not only for the fact that you did not cut for two days, but also for the fact that you are willing to share it with us in this community!

    You are not a failure, let that be clear.
    Everyone has got their good and bad sides,
    we all have got things which we dislike in ourselves.

    But, no matter how many mistakes we make,
    how many we hurt ourselves or even someone else,
    everyone deserves to live,
    and no one is a failure.

    And simulating cutting can really help,
    like, with a fake knife, or with a red marker,
    also I am very aware of other things which may help you relief and fullfil the urge, which do not harm you and/or injure you.

    Plase take care,
    I hope that you will be fine!
     
  6. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Missy - Hi, and pleased to meet you. I've just written the following in another thread started by Haikeru, about what to say to ourselves when we think we have failed:

    "I am NOT a failure - I just had some beliefs that failed me - or I just have some beliefs that are failing me" - and then the invitation/challenge is to find these beliefs and replace them with something more true :)

    There's actually a name for it, called MISBELIEF THERAPY. You can Google it, and there's an easy-2-read book about it called "Telling yourself the truth" by William Backus.

    For instance - The truth about SH is, that it might relieve some tensions temporarily, but it isn't the solution. It's an indication that something more positive will do you more good.

    All good wishes sent your way - you are an awesome person for reaching out and writing about the struggle. :)
     
  7. Miss Misery

    Miss Misery Active Member

    I feel so bad because you people are trying to help me but I don't want to try any alternatives or stop. I AM a failure.
     
  8. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Then start on why you feel like this, what you get from it.
    How long since last last SHed?
     
  9. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Honey, you are NOT a failure. God knows, if anyone was a failure, it would be me......... but I've learned how to get out of the pit of thinking like I am (although I am told daily that I failed and I'm worthless, etc. - ) I've come to see they are all lies. Despite my mistakes and everything negative about me - that does not still mean I am a failure. And neither is anyone - we all try to do our best with what we're given, and sometimes what we're given doesn't make any sense at all. We can rise above it with sufficient insight and enough resource - and SF is a wonderful place for those :)
     
  10. Miss Misery

    Miss Misery Active Member

    Windlepoons, I don't even know anymore. I guess it just gives me pleasure.

    And it's 12 hours since the last time I SHed but I kind of feel triggered right now.
     
  11. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    May I ask what triggered you?
    Why don't you talk about it rather than SH, if you can?
     
  12. Miss Misery

    Miss Misery Active Member

    I don't even know what triggered me last night. I have been getting triggered randomly for about a month now.
     
  13. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear that Miss Misery.
    Do you write down your thoughts, so you can analyse them after?
     
  14. Miss Misery

    Miss Misery Active Member

    Sometimes I do when I get really bored in a classroom but I never analyse them. I usually throw the paper with my thoughts away right after the bell rings.
     
  15. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    I think that you should keep them somewhere safe. Then later, read them and think about them. Were they correct?
     
  16. SilentScream

    SilentScream Well-Known Member

    I agree with windlepoons.
    Writing down your feelings is a good way of expressing.
    And expressing is one of the most important things.

    You eventually could write a diary.
    Writing down everyday et cetra.
    And it does not have to be in detail,
    it even can be poems or drawings, as long as it is expressional.

    Take care~
    :)
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.